Tell Me How Much You Love Me
by Fires Of Raze
Summary: Jack didn't die cause Ennis found and saved him then they bought their ranch and now they live together and realize things about each other they never did before. Better summary at start of each chapter as they come, I promise! If you R&R I'll love you!
1. Chapter 1

_--- Disclaimer: I sadly don't own anything or this would be how the movie ended. ---_

_--- Summary: Ennis recalls how he found Jack almost dead, they share a few special moments together and Jack makes some realizations of his own about his lover. _

_--- Also, if you've already read this chapter but got an email saying it was changed, all I did was break up the big text blocks so don't worry, nothing actually changed ---_

**Tell Me How Much You Love Me**

It was early morning when Ennis Del Mar opened his hazel eyes sleepily and smiled at the scene in front of him. Staring at his lover lying peacefully curled in his arms brought back rushes of memories that now seemed so far distant from where they were now. It had been almost a year now since he had received the postcard from Jack that was stamped with big red letters reading 'Deceased'. Immediately he had called Jack's wife Laureen to find out what had happened but as he listened to her story with tears of anger and grief building in his eyes, he hadn't believed a word coming out of her. "The tire blew up..." She had said. "The rim hit him in the face and he drowned in his own blood..." No. Jack was smarter then that. He wouldn't blow up a tire past its limits and Ennis knew that. Instead of saying that to Laureen however, he'd simply thanked her for telling him and hung up his phone, immediately packing up what little he had and abandoning his trailer to head to Texas where Jack had lived.

The journey had been horrible due to weather and the crappiness of the truck in general but it had been well worth it because after a whole day of searching he'd found his love lying practically dead by the side of a rarely used dirt road, his face bloody and his lean body mangled and bruised. Fearing the worst, he had jumped from his truck and cradled the man in his arms, thanking whatever god would listen that Jack was still alive. After a few moments of much needed relief, he'd carried the unconscious man to his truck and set him gingerly into the seat, wrapping him in a coat so the bumpy road wouldn't hurt him any further. From there he'd driven straight through the night, not bothering even to sleep and traveled all the way up to Brokeback Mountain where he'd picked the lock on the cabin and gone inside to lay Jack on the bed.

For two days straight he'd kept watch over him, barely even daring to sleep out of fear he would suddenly die on him but the third day proved a miracle as Jack opened his hazy blue eyes and squinted into the sunlight.

"E...Ennis..."

He'd muttered and Ennis had all but run to his side.

"I'm here rodeo... I'm here. Jus' be still now... I don' wan' you hurtin' yourself mor'n you already are..."

He remembered whispering that to him as he stared down at him, barely able to watch as his love had shifted to get more comfortable and looked up at him as if he was going to cry in pain. He'd shushed him quietly, fighting to keep his voice from cracking as he placed a cold rag over Jack's eyes and diverted his eyes to check over his injuries again. The many cuts and bruises covering his body were healing nicely and he'd found no broken bones when he'd checked him earlier, causing him to once again thank any listening god for sparing the life of the one he had pulled so close to his heart...

A small movement next to him brought Ennis out of his daydream and he smiled at the man next to him again, watching as he opened his eyes a little, still half asleep.

"Wha time izit..?"

He asked and Ennis reached over to brush a strand of hair out of his face.

"It's still early baby... You can go back to sleep."

"But I wanna stay up w'you..."

Jack whined out a little and cuddled against the warm frame of Ennis, nuzzling his face against his chest. Ennis just smiled again, a smile he saved only for Jack, though the other never knew that. Usually if he ever smiled around anyone it was just a small, lopsided half smile if anything at all. With Jack though, he found he couldn't suppress the genuine smile that broke out on his face so often his face almost hurt.

"A'right love... You c'n stay up if you wan'..."

He said quietly as he wrapped his arms protectively around him and laid his chin down gently on Jack's head, closing his eyes as he breathed in the sweet scent of his lover. Noticing the silence from the other after awhile, Jack looked up at him, his eyes now fully awake and curious.

"You a'right cowboy?"

He asked and Ennis opened his eyes, blushing slightly at being caught.

"Yeah... yeah I'm fine rodeo..."

He said and shifted to lie on his back, pulling Jack over to lie on his chest.

"Jus' thinkin' bout how much I..."

The sound of his voice trailed off slowly, unable to finish the thought. Jack looked up at him from his laying spot and tilted his head slightly.

"How much you what?"

He asked and Ennis smiled softly.

"Just how much I... I love you rodeo..."

At the sound of this simple sentence, Jack gasped softly and stared at the other, causing Ennis to turn away slightly, blushing. Jack hadn't heard him say that barely at all in all the time he'd known him. Maybe one or two times around when they were or had been making love but never just... Randomly like that...

"You... you mean that Ennis...?"

He asked and Ennis turned back to him, his eyes nothing but seriousness.

"O'course I mean it Jack... Why else would I say it? I know I don' say it much but... You should know tha' you mean ev'rything to me... I don' know what I'd do withou' you..."

He said as he stared him deep in the eyes then reached up to wrap his arms around his head, pulling him towards him and capturing his lips in a deep kiss before Jack could protest. He held him there till he felt the other relax against him before he let go of him, knowing he'd stay and trailed his hands down his back to hold him down as he pressed his desire up against his lover gently. Also during this he slid his tongue quickly into Jack's mouth and, meeting no resistance, began to slowly lick the inside of his mouth, savoring the sweet tobacco taste of him and the loud moans that the kiss drew from the other.

He began to moan softly as well as he felt Jacks desire growing hard against him and pushed up against him, grunting softly and backing away from the kiss for a split second to roll over, placing Jack underneath him before he continued his assault on his mouth. Jack, during this, had continued to moan out loudly, loving every second of attention he received from Ennis as he returned the passionate kiss with fervor. Feeling both himself and his lover becoming quickly excited, he trailed his hands down quickly and stripped them both of their pajama pants, tossing them off the bed where they lay on the floor in a crumpled mess.

Ennis moaned his lovers name loudly as he felt him arch up against him, knowing he wanted it as badly as he himself did. Grabbing a bottle of oil off the nearby nightstand, he quickly slathered himself and the other, receiving more pleasurable moans from Jack and causing Ennis to become even harder, if possible. Unable to resist any longer, he wrapped an arm around Jack's back and pulled him up against him as he pressed into him, stifling his deep moan with a kiss so passionate it left them both breathless. Jack fell quickly into his loves pattern of thrusts and kisses, completely lost in his own world as the other slammed down into him, nipping and sucking at whatever bare skin he came across. He realized after a few minutes that, even though he was dazed out by now, Ennis seemed to be doing him... Better... More passionately now then he usually did. Upon realizing this, he pulled himself out of his daze long enough to grab Ennis's face and pull him into a deep french kiss, whispering the three words Ennis loved before letting himself float back into pleasure as his lover whispered them back to him just as softly...

"...I love you too rodeo..."

_--- Well, that's it for Chapter 1. Please R&R and tell me how you like it. I'm only gonna continue if people like it so yeah... Please be honest. Thanks for reading! ---_


	2. Chapter 2

_-- Disclaimer: I still don't own anything --_

_--- Okay, this chapter is kinda just... Blah. It's set the same day as the last chapter after they're done and Jack has some nice dreams... -- _

**Tell Me How Much You Love Me**

It was nearing dusk when Jack groggily made his way down the stairs, drawn down only by the smell of dinner making his stomach growl. He and Ennis had been making love since that morning but due to the passionate dream-like state Ennis had kept him in, he hadn't realized how late it had gotten. His stomach growled loudly as he entered the kitchen and Ennis glanced up at him from the stove.

"Evenin' sunshine. You hav'a nice sleep?" He asked as he turned his gaze back to dinner.

"Mmm hmm..." Jack muttered as he seated himself slowly in a chair. "I could'a easily stayed there too if ma damn stomach wasn't growlin' so loud..." Ennis turned as he listened to his love talk and placed their plates down on the table.

"Then eat up rodeo. I'm sure you need your energy back anyways..." He said with a small wink that made Jack blush slightly. Not knowing what to come back with, he instead turned his attention down to his food and began gobbling it down as Ennis ate his too.

"Mmm..." He muttered softly as his stomach quickly filled and sat back in his chair, his hands folded behind his head. "Damn that was good..."

"So were you rodeo..." Ennis said with a smile, sneaking a kiss as he took the empty plates away. Again Jack blushed and sank further into his chair.

"Ya weren't so bad yourself cowboy..." He muttered under his breath as he leaned against he wall behind him and closed his eyes slowly, images of that morning flashing through his mind as he steadily fell back asleep. Ennis, after washing the dishes, sat down in the chair across from him to stare lovingly at his angel then tilted his head a bit as Jack began to mumble and moan softly.

"What on earth you thinkin' bout love...?" He whispered to himself then shook his head and got up to go do his chores. "Guess I'll let ya sleep then..." He said softly then stole another gentle kiss before grabbing his hat and going outside. Jack meanwhile, was having some damn good dreams in his chair. His moans slowly began to increase in volume as he started arching alittle from his chair against an invisible force, though in his mind he was still in bed with Ennis doing him more passionatly then he had in some time. _"Ennis uunn... god Ennis don't stop..."_ He jerked against the chair slightly, still feeling Ennis filling him fully, slamming down into him harder and harder, his own screams of ecstasy mixing with his love's deep moans of pleasure, the feel of his lovers tongue sliding slowly up along the back of his neck to his ear where he sucked and nipped as tenderly as possible on his earlobe, still driving deep down inside him. With a last scream of pleasure that erupted from him not only in his dream, he jerked himself out of the chair and fell shaking to the floor, his eyes still shut and his hands clenched in his own sweaty shirt which he, at the moment, believed to be Ennis and lay there in his pleasure, ignoring the pain in his shoulder from landing hard on the kitchen floor. Ennis, hearing the scream from inside the house had immediatly dropped the task he was doing and kicked his horse to a gallop, jumping off before he came to a complete stop and bolting into the house, dropping to his knees next to the other.

"Jack...? Jack...!" He said, his usually calm tone now laced with panic as he brought his lover into his arms gently. "Baby wha' happened?" He asked as he caressed him and felt for any injuries. His question was answered only with a soft whimper and a shuddering sigh as Jack slowly calmed down and opened his eyes to look up at him.

"I... I'm a'right..." He said shakily and tried to sit up but Ennis held him tightly against him.

"I'm puttin' you in bed rodeo... I shouldn't'a left you alone in that chair there..." He said quietly, standing with Jack still cradled in his arms to carry him to bed but Jack shook his head in protest.

"I'm fine Ennis, I promise. Jus' a dream is all..." He said quietly as Ennis carried him to their room and laid him tenderly on the bed then proceeded to help him change out of his sweaty shirt.

"Even if ya are fine love, I want you staying in bed if you's gonna have those dreams while I'm not around, got it? Now settle yourself down under those covers an' I'll stay here with you. Think you can handle that?"

Jack nodded slowly, submitting as usual under Ennis's dominant force but especially because of his use of the rare nickname.

"Promise ta stay with me then?" He asked as he waited for Ennis to lay next to him then cuddled against him.

"Yeah I promise to stay here." Came the reply from above him and he felt a soft kiss on the top of his head. "I love you rodeo..."

"I love you too cowboy..."

Ennis smiled slightly at the sleepiness in his lovers voice and again kissed the top of his head gently. Sighing contently as Jack fell back into his dreamland, he knew saying those precious three words meant a lot to his mate, even if the other would never outright say it...

"But if tha's what'll make you happy love... Then I'm willin' to try it some more..." He whispered as he wrapped a protective arm around his angel and stared out the window at the slowly setting sun.

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_-- Well, there it is. Review please to tell me what you think of it and if I should continue some more. Thanks and I promise I'll try to come up with some sort of real plot in the next chapter! --_


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: No, I STILL don't own anything. _

_Summary: This chapter is the beginning to some sort of plot for the story, unlike the last two chapters had so please review and tell me how I did as well as if you want more. Thanks! _

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**Tell Me How Much You Love Me**

The bright morning sunlight that usually pierced the curtains of the ranch was hidden when Ennis awoke in the morning and glanced contentedly towards the window, sighing softly. He knew he had to get his chores done today, especially since he hadn't done them at all in the past few days but he was so comfortable and Jack felt so good in his arms that he just didn't want to get out of bed. Finally, after a few more quiet minutes he lifted his head alittle to kiss the top of his loves hair before sitting up slowly and making sure the other was covered and warm.

"Where you goin' cowboy...?" Jack asked, his eyes still closed and his voice still half asleep.

"Gotta get some chores down rodeo. You get yerself back ta sleep, a'right?" He said in return and kissed him softly, pulling a soft sigh from the other before he fell back asleep. Ennis just smiled softly to himself as he stared at the angelic face below him then heaved himself off the bed and headed to the shower. A little while later he re-emerged, clean and fully dressed in his faded blue jeans and once white shirt rolled past his elbows. After stealing one more glance at his lover wrapped peacefully in his own dreamland, he walked out and closed the door behind him quietly, putting on his hat before grabbing something to eat and walking out into the cloudy morning. A short walk away lay the stable, which housed the two horses they had used the first time they'd come up to work on the mountain and they'd ended up buying for the memory of them. He knew the farmhand they had hired would have fed and taken care of the horses but since that was all they required of him, he knew that would be the only thing that had gotten done. Walking around the stable though, he noticed that a large portion of the fence surrounding the horses pasture was broken down, most likely from the huge wind storm the mountain had gotten a few days ago.

"Well..." He said quietly to himself as he stared at it and hoisted his pants up alittle. "Guess tha' needs mendin'..." That firmly decided he wandered slowly down to the barn where his miscellaneous tools were and, after getting all the tools he'd need, went back out and got started on fixing the fence. A few hours later he lifted his arm to wipe the sweat off his forehead then shivered slightly at the chill that had settled over the area due to the clouds that had been slowly gathering all morning. Getting back to his feet for the first time in awhile, he stepped back to check his work when he heard the sounds of soft footsteps behind him and turned around quickly.

"Hey there cowboy, don' git yourself a heart attack now... I's jus' me." Jack said as he went over and kissed him softly, drawing a sigh of relief from Ennis.

"Ya scared me boy..." He said as he returned the kiss and gestured towards the mended fence. "Look good ta you?"

Jack looked over the fence and nodded, patting the other on the shoulder. "Leave it ta my man ta make an old fence look bran'new." That drew another rare smile out of Ennis as well as a soft kiss.

"Oh you're just bein' a suckup for t'night love..." He said and Jack felt his heart swoon at the nickname.

"Is't workin'?" He asked with a smile and Ennis hugged him tightly.

"Yu'll jus' have'ta wait till t'night ta find out, won't ya?" He responded and let go of him to stretch himself out. "Hey, ya wanna go for a ride rodeo? 'S'been along time since the horses wen' out an' it'll give'em some fresh air."

"Sure cowboy, tha' sounds good ta me. Lemme get my nutcase of'a horse saddled up an' we can go."

"A'right, I'ma go change my shirt and I'll meet ya out here in a minute or so."

Jack nodded as he walked into the stable and had successfully tacked both horses by the time Ennis got back out.

"Geeze love, ya got fingers'a lightnin', ya know that?" He said as Jack led the horses out and got on his own after handing Ennis his reigns.

"Don't take tha' much work Ennis..." He responded quietly, his heart once again doing flip-flops in his chest. "Come on, le's go. I don' wanna be caught in this here comin' storm." He said with a motion to the darkening clouds and Ennis nodded, getting on his own horse.

"Le's go then rodeo." He kicked his horse softly a few times to send him into a trot and glanced back to make sure Jack was following before clicking his tongue and flowing into a full gallop, letting the horses run free as they didn't get to do much lately. They reached the top of a hill a ways away and stopped finally, both men and horses panting slightly as the adrenaline rush wore out and Jack smiled, slouching in his saddle.

"Man tha' was great..." He said and Ennis nodded in agreement.

"Yeah i'was but we be'er get back 'fore it starts pourin' on us."

Jack nodded and clicked to his horse as he turned her around then started trotting slowly down the path. Ennis however, stayed for a minute to watch the gathering storm clouds and think about how lucky he was to be up here in the peace and quiet with the one he loved more then anything else in the world. His thoughts were shattered however as he heard Jack's mare shriek out in a panicked voice and whipped his head around just in time to see Jack fly off her back and, as Ennis sat in shock, land awkwardly on his head and back before laying motionless on the ground, the entire area suddenly as silent as if death had landed right there on the mountain.

"Jack..."

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_I really didn't know what to do with this chapter but I figured they needed to do something productive besides lay around with each other all day lol. Anyway, tell me what you think and if you want me to continue it. Thanks for reading everyone! _


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: I still own nothing. _

_Sorry for the wait everyone but as promised, here is chapter 4 of the story. Chapter 5 is already written on paper and will be put up tomorrow if anyone wishes me to continue. Sorry again about the really really long wait and the bad cliffhanger but I'm back again I promise! Thanks for reading and please review if you like it!_

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"Jack!"

Ennis screamed out as the shock of watching him fall wore off and he kicked his horse to a gallop, jumping off before he even came to a stop.

"Jack? Jack, answer me baby... Jack!"

He exclaimed as he knelt by him and slipped his fingers behind his neck to check for anything unusual. After making sure the crucial area wasn't broken, he quickly checked his pulse and breathing to make sure niether were distorted or, god forbid, non-existant. Once convinced that moving him wouldn't further injure his mate, he clicked his tongue to call the two horses over and, after grabbing their reigns, lifted Jack tenderly off the ground and started walking back towards home as the clouds grew darker overhead. The smell of rain soon became evident as thunder rumbled in the distance and the sky began to light up with bolts of lightning. Just as Ennis got into the house after putting the horses in the stable, a huge clap of thunder sounded, followed by a pouring torrent of rain. He sighed in relief at not being caught in the storm then went to the master bedroom where he laid Jack down as gently as if he were made of porcelin. Immediatly following, he ran to the bathroom and got a cool rag to lay across Jack's eyes before sitting down by him to wait for him to wake up. He glanced over him again, knowing he should call a doctor but didn't want to make the poor man travel so far without desperate need. He would call him, he told himself, if Jack didn't wake up soon or started showing signs of needing professional medical attention. That decided, he laid back against the headboard and stared at the wall opposite him as the minutes slowly ticked on by.

----- 2 Hours Later -----

Ennis was still sitting with Jack when the latter awoke and immediatly groaned in pain.

"Shit tha's a massive headache..."

He muttered and shifted slightly to get comfortable, which jerked Ennis from the doze he'd fallen into.

"Jack... Baby you're 'wake?"

Jack mumbled slightly in response as Ennis sat up more and felt the back of his love's neck again to make sure he hadn't missed anything before.

"Ya seem ta be a'right love, save probably a concussion bu' I think you'll be a'right soon. Jus' stay in bed an' I'll take care of ya, less ya think ya need a doctor."

Jack smiled slightly through the pounding in his head at the rare show of care and concern Ennis was portraying.

"S'nice ta see ya care so much cowboy and no, I don' think I'll need a doctor... Got one righ' here..."

He said quietly as Enis continued to check him for any broken bones and bruises.

"Yeah well... Ya gave me quite the scare there when I saw ya fallin'..." He stopped his examination and stared down at Jack's body. "Don' know wha' I'd do if I'da lost ya..."

Jack tilted his head slightly, not sure if he'd heard the last whispered sentence correctly. "Ennis...?"

Ennis finally turned his gaze to meet his love's eyes and Jack gasped slightly at the sight of tears in the others eyes.

"Ennis..." He started but was quickly interrupted.

"I thought for a minute I'd lost ya... I... I don' know wha' I woulda done if you'd..." He turned away again as tears began to fall from his eyes and Jack sat up slowly to comfort him but Ennis felt the movement and turned back to him, trying to make him lay back down.

"Jack ya need your rest... Stay down on the bed..."

"Bu' ya need comfortin' cowboy... I don' wanna se ya upset like this..."

"I'm a'right... You lay yourself back down..."

"Then lay wi'me..."

Ennis glanced at his eyes as Jack took his hand gently and laid back down, pulling Ennis on top of him. Ennis obliged and laid on him gently, his tears leaving dark circles where his head rested on the others chest.

"S'a'right cowboy... I'm here..."

Jack whispered softly as he caressed Ennis' back and immediatly felt as well as heard the others breath hitch before he began to sob, clinging to Jack as if to assure himself he was still there.

"Shhh... I's a'right love... i's a'right..."

Jack muttered quietly and continued to hold him till the sobs decreased and the two fell asleep with Ennis still held tightly in his lovers arms as the storm outside tempered off into morning.

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_Chapter 5 to be put up tomorrow if I get good reviews:D_


	5. Chapter 5

_-- No I still don't own it. Stop reminding me or I might cry... :'( Anyway, sorry this took so long to get up again. It's been on paper for awhile but yeah... Life is the only excuse I can give without the whole list of reasons. Thanks for reading! -- _

**Tell Me How Much You Love Me**

When Jack awoke in the morning, the first thing he noticed, besides the pounding in his head, was that Ennis wasn't there. After blindly reaching around for him for a couple minutes, he opened his eyes to see that Ennis really wasn't there but that the covers had been tucked around him and the curtains had been closed tightly to block out the sunlight from outside. Another thing he noticed was the mouth watering aroma of bacon coming from downstairs.

"I gotta get me some o'that..."

He said as his stomach growled loudly but just as he was sitting up to go downstairs, footsteps sounded outside the door and Ennis came in carrying a tray with food for both of them.

"Can' leave ya for two seconds 'thought you tryin' ta get up, can I?" He asked and Jack saw a small twinkle of teasing in his eyes as he laid back against the headboard.

"Not when your makin' food smells tha' good..."

Ennis just smiled and put the tray over Jack's legs then got his own and sat down next to him.

"Well eat up then 'fore it gets cold rodeo."

Jack didn't need telling twice as he dove into the meal of bacon, eggs and of course, beans. Ennis smiled to himself and watched him for a little while before digging into his own.

"So ya feelin' better love?"

He asked once the plates were cleared and the flask of whiskey had been shared. Jack sighed contently and snuggled back down under the covers to hide from the cold.

"Yeah tha' was damn good. Now if it'd jus' stop bein' so damn cold in here, we'd be all set."

"Tha' can be arranged..."

Ennis said softly and Jack glanced at him from his pillow.

"What you thinkin' cowboy?"

"Oh you know wha' I'm thinkin' long as you're feelin' up to it..."

"You know I'm always feelin' up ta you..."

During this, Ennis had crawled over on top of Jack and began nuzzling his neck but when Jack whispered that in his certain way he had, Ennis felt his pants quickly become too tight down below and stripped them both of their clothes, tossing them to land wherever they felt like. He quickly attacked his lovers mouth, diving his tongue straight for where he knew his sensitive spots were, causing Jack to gasp and jerk against him.

"Ennis..."

He breathed out as the other positioned himself above him and pushed into him slowly, pulling loud moans and pleasurable gasps from his lover. Soon after fully sheathing himself within him, Ennis began moving slowly in and out of him, creating the slow and steady rythmn he knew Jack loved so much. Below him, Jack was in heaven. The slowness of Ennis' movements and the deepness of his kiss... The soft caresses lining his body and the hard pressure Ennis put on him everytime he pushed back in was, to him, better then their usual rythmn that left them both hot, sweaty and exhausted after only an hour, if they even made it to that. This way, he felt, showed more that they loved each other rather then just lusted for each other and the look in Ennis' eyes as he stared at him told him he loved him more then words could ever express.

When they finally did finish and Ennis claimed him once again with a soft moan and sigh of relief, they just lay there in each others arms, content that they had farmhands to get the work done for them and pushing off whatever was needed that wasn't the farmhands job. As morning brightened into afternoon and the sun rose higher behind the tightly closed curtains, the two stayed there in each others small piece of heaven where no "I love you's" were needed as they stared into each others eyes, oblivious to anything else but each other.

_-- Please again review if you'd like me to continue cause I'm kinda running out of ideas and it's killing my want to keep this going... :'( --_


	6. Chapter 6

-- Disclaimer: No I don't own anything… Thanks for offering though:D

Tell Me How Much You Love Me

_"Please… Please leave me alone…! Leave me alone dammit! I ain't done nothin' ta you!" "You was born, Twist. Thas' enough fer us…" Screams echoed from a ditch on an abandoned road as the men beat upon Jack with boards and tire irons. "I ain't done nothin'! No! Please! ENNIS!"_

Ennis awoke with a start, his body shaking and sweating as he sat up in bed, glancing over at Jack and running a hand over him to make sure he was still there.

"Ennis? Wha' you doin' awake? I's three in the mornin'…" Jack stopped as his eyes focused and he saw the state his lover was in.

"Ennis? Wha's wrong?" He asked worriedly and was answered by Ennis grabbing him, holding Jacks smaller frame against him tightly and crying into the nape of his neck.

"I… I though' you was…"

"Wha? I cain't hear ya cowboy…"

Ennis moved his head slightly so his mouth was clearer and wiped his eyes quickly.

"I… I saw ya gettin' beat… I heard ya screamin'… I… I watched ya diein'…"

He trailed off as he broke into another round of sobs and clung tighter to his mate.

"Shhh… I's a'right cowboy… I'm still here…"

Jack whispered as he held Ennis and caressed his back gently. The other calmed down slowly after several minutes and sat up slowly, quickly wiping his eyes dry.

"Sorry bout tha'…"

He muttered as he regained control of himself and Jack smiled slightly, reaching up to trail his hand gently along Ennis' face.

"Don' worry bout it none cowboy. Jus' shows me more tha' ya love me."

"Ya need me ta cry like a woman ta show I love ya?"

Ennis asked, casting a glance so odd that Jack had to laugh.

"No, no… Jus' meant tha'… Well… I like you showin' ya care sometimes…"

He trailed off slowly and turned his face away to look out the window and Ennis sat up more, his head tilted slightly.

"I thought ya knew I cared bout ya…?"

"Well yeah but… I dunno. Nevermind it."

"No, we're gonna mind it now. Wha' makes ya think I don' care bout ya?"

"I know ya care Ennis jus'… Ya only show it when we're 'lone. Be nice fer others ta know ya care… Our friends a'least…"

"Jack I…" He trailed off and stood up off the bed, causing Jack to turn and look at him.

"I'll… I'll try bu'… Well ya know how I am bout people sayin' I'm queer an' all tha'… But… If it makes ya happy love… Well… We'll see. Maybe I c'n work on't."

Jack smiled, the worry that he'd upset Ennis fading as he stood and gave him a hug.

"Couldn't ask fer more cowboy."

Ennis returned the hug as well as the soft smile then pushed him back on the bed gently.

"You rest now. I'ma go git the chores done an' I'll be back ta git ya breakfast soon."

"Bu' i's three in the mornin'!"

"I know bu' tha' nightmares left me jittery an' I cain't stand ta be still. Gimme an hour an' I'll be back, a'right?"

Jack nodded and laid back down, knowing when Ennis admitted to being jittery, he really meant it.

"Ya better hurry an' git back here then. I ain't wantin' ta sleep here by myself."

Ennis smiled slightly and kissed him gently.

"I promise I'll be back soon love."

"A'right."

Jack rolled over slowly and curled onto Ennis' pillow, causing Ennis again to smile softly before changing into a ragged pair of jeans and a t-shirt, grabbing his hat and with a last glance at the now sleeping man who meant more to him then anything, quietly closed the door behind him and went out to help the farm hands with some chores.

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An hour later, as promised, Ennis dragged himself back inside and, not bothering to change, stripped off his muddy clothes and slipped naked into bed next to Jack, immediately wrapping his arms around the warm figure gently.

"Mmm…? Oh hey… Yer back…?"

Jack mumbled, still half asleep and Ennis kissed him softly.

"Yeah I'm here rodeo… Now you c'n sleep 'thought bein' alone."

" 'S the only way I'd wanna sleep cowboy…"

Silence reigned for a moment as Ennis leaned against the back of his mates head, breathing in his scent before…

"I love you rodeo…"

He whispered and Jack glanced at him with a sleepy smile.

"Love you too cowboy…"

He muttered before cuddling back against Ennis and falling back asleep, safe and content in his lovers arms. Ennis, however, stayed up and held Jack tightly against him, images of the nightmare still fresh in his mind. The worst part, he realized, was that the dream hurt so much because it was real. It wasn't some image of a monster hiding under his bed that he could just reprimand himself for believing and push out of his mind… It had actually happened. He could still picture Jack laying next to the road, bloody and barely alive, and the thought of it ever happening again killed him inside.

Unbeknownst to Jack, he'd almost become paranoid about it anytime they had to go down to town and if it weren't for his feat of people knowing how they were, he'd probably all but cling to him anytime they were out. Instead he just walked next to him, the two talking like they were just good friends who happened to meet up for awhile in town and needed to go shopping or whatever. When it was time to go back, they would go at different times… Usually a span of 5-10 minutes… Just so no one got suspicious. Then they'd drive back up to Brokeback and things would be go to normal. If it weren't for not wanting to be thought queer, Ennis thought, he'd wish that people would just grow up and accept it… Even if just for one day. He also knew Jack wished they were able to express it more openly, especially around their friends who had already told them they accepted it. Maybe he could try that… Maybe just hold his hand when they went to their friends house tomorrow…

"Would ya like that love…?"

Ennis muttered softly against Jack's hair, not expecting a response. And so as daylight first began to break outside and the rest of the ranch started springing to life, Ennis closed his eyes and tried to imagine sweet images of him and Jack together, holding hands and kissing in town without so much as one dirty look from anyone. This in mind, he fell back asleep with a small smile that was still there when Jack woke up a few hours later.

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-- Please review and tell me what you think! I'm kinda running out of ideas and this seems to be going nowhere but if you guys like it enough, I'll try to continue it. Otherwise I'm gonna stop it pretty soon. Thanks again for reading! --


	7. Chapter 7

_-- Disclaimer: No... I don't own anything. --_

_-- This chapter is mostly Jack thinking with not much actual speech so hang with me... It's a rambler. -- _

**Tell Me How Much You Love Me**

Jack arose in the still early morning, somewhere around 7 by the look of the clock on the wall, and got out of bed fully awake. He'd found over the years that sleeping with Ennis helped him so much in the way of getting a good nights sleep, other then the occasional nightmare like the one Ennis had last night. What had that been about anyway? Through the tears and muttered words, he'd gathered that Ennis had dreamed him getting beaten to death somehow but that was all he'd gotten out of him other then sobs before the tears had subsided and the other had gone back to his usual tough self.

He absent-mindedly wandered to the bathroom and stripped off the loose pants he wore for bed before stepping into the shower that he didn't remember starting. Standing there under the hot water felt good, especially on his still sore neck from his fall a few days ago. He rubbed it gently, knowing it was just strained alittle buy hey, it still hurt. After a few minutes of giving himself somewhat of a massage, he began to slowly wash himself down as his mind wandered off to Ennis again. He knew the other loved him... He could tell by how worried he always was about him and in all the ways he touched him everynight... Jack shook his head slightly to erase that for the moment so he could think.

Was it too much to ask for Ennis to show some sort of affection other then when they were behind the locked doors of their ranch? They had friends who accepted it... They'd caught Ennis giving Jack a kiss once while they were at their house and had thought themselves alone. Of course Ennis got all flustered and was ready to high-tail it outta there once he saw them but they had immediatly raised their hands up alittle and told him that it was alright, that they were fine with it and the wife actually thought it was somewhat cute. Her husband had nodded alittle, of course 'cute' wasn't the right word for him but he was fine with it all the same.

So why couldn't Ennis show it around them? It wasn't like he was asking him to do him in front of them... Just... Holding his hand would be nice, maybe even a little kiss at some point... Was that too much? Jack sighed softly to himself and raised his face to the warm spray, closing his eyes against the world for a moment. Maybe he was pushing too hard. He knew Ennis had been raised by his father before he and his wife had died and he knew the horrible things Ennis had seen due to his father's intense dislike of gays but still... That was all in the past now and there weren't any people like that up at the ranch or at their friends house.

"Oh well..." He whispered softly to himself as he rinsed off and turned the now cold water off. Pushing the dark green curtain aside he reached for his towel and wrapped it around his waist, tossing his head alittle to shake the excess water out of his dark hair. Ennis, he knew, would probably be waking up soon and he wanted to have breakfast ready for him when that time came. The other was usually the one who got up in the morning and made breakfast, which then drew Jack down so they could go get chores done or just lounge around with each other if they didn't have anything big to do.

Drying himself off quickly, he slipped into some blue jeans and a long sleeved shirt, feeling alittle chilly in the house air after his hot shower, then made his way downstairs and started up the only thing he could cook... Beans. He was feeling in the mood for eggs and bacon too but knew diddly-squat about how to make it so he took some out and put it on the counter, knowing Ennis would take the hint and make it once he came down.

He plopped down in the chair as the beans cooked on the stove and almost immediatly fell back into his thoughts, his blue eyes staring dazedly at the growing sunlight outside. Their friends had invited them over for dinner that night as it was and Jack was somewhat hoping that maybe Ennis would think about what they'd talked about last night and show him some sort of affection while they were there. He wasn't getting his hopes up but... It would be nice. Maybe, he thought, he could just take the initiative and kiss Ennis randomly during the visit? No... That would most likely make his mate mad, something he really didn't want to do. But if he didn't do something, he doubted Ennis would... Not around others... He sighed softly again and opened his eyes as he heard heavy footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Hey cowboy, I'm in here..." He called when he heard the footsteps hit the bottom and turned his head alittle to face his lover.

"Did'ya have a nice sleep af'er tha' nigh'mare Ennis?" He asked and Ennis nodded alittle, glancing at the eggs and bacon on the counter.

"Ya want me ta make these up for ya?" He muttered and Jack stood up to go check on the beans.

"If ya don' mind. Figured we'd both be wantin' somethin' other then beans."

Ennis nodded again and got out a skillet, his hands quickly setting to work at getting breakfast cooked up. He knew they had accepted the invite to go to to their friends for dinner a couple days ago... Well, rather Jack mostly had accepted it and told Ennis about it the next day but... Hell, they were good friends of theirs and he did enjoy going over there but on the other hand, it also meant he and Jack couldn't comfortably be together the way they were when they were alone.

Course Jack didn't see it that way. He had told Ennis again and again that their friends were fine with it... That it wouldn't bother them for the two of them to share a simple kiss while they were there but he just... Couldn't... It was too strange for him still... Even after all this time. He had never thought of himself that way before meeting Jack.. Hell, he'd been terrified of the feeling when he felt himself attracted to Jack the first time but he'd gotten over that and now they were together; They had been for a couple years now. And still it was so hard to show any affection towards his mate whenever they weren't home. Even when they were outside on their own property he kept the show down to a minimum. He knew it hurt Jack, though the other usually didn't say anything, but it almost seemed like something inside him was pulling him back in harder then Jack was trying to pull him out. He sighed through his nose quietly as he finished up the eggs and bacon, causing Jack to turn his face and look at him curiously.

"Ya'll right cowboy? Ya seem distracted..."

"Jus' thinkin' is all..." He muttered as he spooned the food onto their plates and set them on the table before taking his place and watching Jack take his.

"S'it bout tanight? We c'n call'n cancel if ya want..."

Ennis shook his head and moved his food around to cool it alittle. "Nah, don' worry bout it. I know ya wanna go and I do too i's jus'... I dunno. Jus' me I'm guessin'."

"A'right... If'n you're sure..."

"I'm sure..." Ennis said, finality in his voice as he started eating his food and Jack started in on his. Afterwards the dishes were placed in the sink to be done later and Ennis stretched as he stared out at the backyard.

"Gonna go fix up some o'the fence round the property tha' was blown down, wanna come help me?" He asked and Jack nodded alittle.

"Sure cowboy, lemme git my hat an' I'll be out there in a jiffy." He said and went off up to their room where his hat was. Ennis grabbed his hat from where it sat on the porch and went off towards the barn for his tools to mend up the rest of the fence. He was joined shortly by Jack who came running down the grass towards him and took some tools from him right away as he stared down at the fence.

"Looks like a tornado passed through this here part o'the yard, don't it?" He asked, motioning towards the destroyed fence that had been blown over and damaged by the surrounding trees and bushes.

"Sure does... Gotta git it fixed up 'fore coyotes and such start gettin' in here." With that, the two started working on mending the shattered fence, Jack checking his watch every so often to make sure they had time to get cleaned up so they could leave to be to their friends by 5. Around 4, after working for about 8 hours on the fence that surrounded their whole property, Jack stood up and wiped his brow slowly.

"We better go git cleaned up cowboy... We gotta be there in an hour."

Ennis responded by standing up as well and looking up and down the fence for a moment before nodding his head. "A'right, I guess tha'll hold fer now. Least it'll keep out any scavengers."

Jack nodded his approval before reaching out and taking Ennis hand, which tensed for a moment then relaxed slowly as it's owner looked around and saw that no one was around.

"Le's go then. Lord knows we both need a good scrubbin' 'fore we go down there..." He said and Ennis laughed softly before the two of them walked back up to the ranch, the latter with a feeling in his stomach that it somehow was going to be a very long night.

_-- Okay I know this chapter is weird but I thought I should put some of their thoughts in here since the rest of it was just action, or the lack hereof sometimes. Anyway, please review and tell me what you think, as always. -- _


	8. Chapter 8

_-- Disclaimer: I actually own something this time! Tom and Penny belong to me so there! The rest doesn't though... :'( --_

_-- Well, here's chapter 8 of this very... strange story. Sorry this took so long, again, to put up but... yeah... You're all used to that by now right? Anyway, here it is for my still faithful readers so enjoy! --  
_

**Tell Me How Much You Love Me**

As the sun started to set lower in the sky, the two ranchers were on their way down to their friends house which was located at the base of the mountain. Not quiet up in the wilderness but still a few miles from town, the property was quiet and secluded from any prying eyes. They pulled up right on time, according to Jack's perfectly set watch, and stepped out to take a quick stretch, though the ride hadn't been long at all. Jack wandered over to Enis as the other stood staring at the house and took his hand gently, causing his mate to jump.

"Yes rodeo...?" He asked and Jack squeezed his hand gently.

"Ya ready ta go inside cowboy? They should be 'spectin' us now."

"Yeah... a'right..." Ennis replied and started towards the house, making sure their hands seperated quickly as their friends opened the door to greet them.

"Jack! Ennis! Ya made it!"

"Course we did Penny... Wouldn' turn your dinner down if ya paid us." Jack said with a smile as Penny hugged them both and her husband Tom shook their hands.

"How ya both been?" He asked and Jack shrugged alittle, trying to hide the small pang of hurt he felt from Ennis again refusing to hold his hand.

"Same's always I suppose. Not like i's a bad thing bu' ya know. Wha' bout you? You an' yer missus holdin' up good?"

Tom nodded as he shook Ennis' hand and started leading them inside.

"We're doin' great. Penny's gotta nice dinner set up an' we was thinkin' maybe we could play some games afterwards if ya ain't got a reason ta be home early."

Jack glanced at Ennis, who shrugged, then turned back to Tom with a smile.

"Tha'd be great."

"You men be'er get in here 'fore the food gets cold!"

Penny called from the kitchen and the three men headed to the dining room to take their places as Penny served them the delicious smelling food. Dinner was considerably quiet seeing as Jack and Tom were the only ones talking and Jack slid his hand over to grasp Ennis under the table, a small sign that he hadn't forgotten he was there. Ennis glanced at him out of the corner of his eyes and continued eating normally though Jack started to notice that his hand was getting sweaty and his foot was tapping impatiently under the table.

"Y'a'right cowboy?" He asked and Ennis glanced at him again before fixing his gaze back on a spot on the wall.

"Didn't say anythin' was wrong..."

"Well ya ain't said much all night an' ya seem jittery all'a sudden..."

"I'm fine Jack..."

"Ya sure?"

"Yeah I'm jus'... I'm gonna go for a walk... S'cuse me..."

He muttered, tripping over his words alittle as he pried away from Jack's hand and headed outside, taking his hat with him.

"S'he a'right Jack?" Penny asked as the front door closed and she started clearing the empty dishes.

Jack sighed softly and ran a hand through his hair slowly.

"I... I don' know honestly... Maybe i'd be best if we went back home... Sorry ta cut the night so short..." He said somewhat sadly as he stood up and Tom got up to see him out.

"Nah, don' worry bout it. 'S not either o'yours faults."

The two shook hands and Jack gave Penny a hug, apologizing again and thanking her before heading out the door to look for Ennis. He searched for him for a few minutes before finding him sitting in the truck and slid in next to him, not even receiving an acknowledgement from the other.

"Come on cowboy... Le's go home..." He muttered with a quiet sigh after a few moments of silence and started up the truck as Ennis tapped his hand on the seat slightly.

"I'm sorry bout wha' happened in there..." He started but Jack interrupted with a small wave of his hand.

"Don' worry bout it, a'right? I know why ya did i' already..." He started driving towards the mountain and Ennis glanced at him.

"Ya do...?"

"Yeah... Ya got all jittery soon as I started holdin' your hand. I don' know wha' your problem is Ennis... I know ya had lotsa bad things happen in the past involvin' this stuff but why cain't ya jus' let tha' go already? This is bout us dammit, not some guys yer daddy didn't like!"

Jack's voice had slowly risen to a yell during this and Ennis flinched slightly at the small outburst before turning his face to look out the window.

"I'm sorry..."

"Yer sorry!" Jack exploded and Ennis flinched again. "Tha' ain't gonna make i'better Ennis! I feel like I'm the only one lovin' in this relationship!"

This caused Ennis to growl softly and he turned back to face him.

"How c'a ya say tha' after all I done for ya! I been doin' all I can for you Jack! I left my family for you! I left everything for you!..."

He trailed off as tears started building in his eyes and turned to look back out the window. Jack sighed, partly in anger and partly in sadness as they drove up to the ranch and parked in the driveway, the silence taking over for a moment after the truck was turned off.

"Look Ennis... I know ya done a lot fer me an' I know ya say ya love me an' I 'preciate it, i's jus'... Ya never show it less i's behind locked doors... Makes me feel like ya don' really wan' me round no more..."

Ennis remained quiet for a moment and when he did speak, Jack noticed the hurt in his low tone.

"You, of all people, should know how much I wan' ya here Jack. I've gone an' given up everything I worked for in this world ta come live with ya, even through all the debates I had in my head. I followed my heart fer the first time in a damn long time Jack an' I've cared for ya an' loved ya in the best way I can an' if you don' see tha' then... Then I don' know wha' ta say ta you anymore..."

He trailed off and stared up at the ranch for a moment then continued when Jack didn't say anything in response.

"Either way... I'm goin' inside an' you should too. Gotta be up early ta finish tha' fence."

Jack nodded, stung to silence by Ennis' small speech then slid off his seat, closing his door quietly before going inside. Ennis followed after a minute or so and, seeing that Jack had already gone up to their room, plopped onto the couch with his head in his hands. After a few minutes he heard Jack's footsteps on the stairs but didn't look at him... He didn't want to see the anger, hurt and sadness he knew was in his eyes. Even after Jack sat down with him, his face stayed down in his hands though Jack could tell the other knew he was there.

"Ennis?" He asked quietly and the other finally lifted his face, still not looking at him.

"Yeah Jack...?"

"I... I'm sorry..."

"Wha' you got ta be sorry bout? Y'ain't done nothin' wrong..."

"For yellin' at ya... An' for pushin' ya so hard ta do stuff like tha' round other people... I know ya don' like to..."

Ennis sighed softly and stared at the pattern of the carpet beneath his feet.

"Look Jack... This prob'ly ain't gonna come out right so jus' bear with me for alittle, a'right?"

Jack nodded and Ennis took a deep breath before continueing.

"I love ya rodeo... bu' sometimes I still ain't comfortable with the though' o'people thinkin' I'm queer, cause I ain' an' you know tha'. Yer the only guy I ever laid eyes on a'all an' I still cain't figure ou' why tha' happened in the firs' place. I'm guessin' fer some reason tha' I'll never know, I jus' happened ta fall for ya, jus' like you did for me bu'... Hell I don' even know where this is goin'..."

He stood up and paced around the living room quickly, his hands wringing in front of him.

"S'a'right... I know wha' you're meanin'..." Jack said softly and Ennis looked over at him.

"Then tell me cause I gots no idea..."

Jack hesitated a minute before continueing, his eyes fixed on the floor to hide his growing tears.

"I don' think ya really wanna be w'me anymore. Ya may love me somehow in that twisted mind o'yours and ya may enjoy it behind closed doors bu'... I don' think ya really wan'it in yer heart..."

"Jack i's not tha', I jus'..."

"No..." Jack interrupted and looked at him, tears runnning slowly down his face. "I'm gonna go ta bed... Maybe you should jus' go out an' find yerself another woman... Maybe tha'll make ya happy..."

Without even giving Ennis a chance to respond he stood up off the couch and headed for their room, leaving the other staring after him in the growing darkness.

"Jack..."

_-- As always, please review to tell me what you think! -- _


	9. Chapter 9

_-- Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this chapter –_

_-- Alright, this chapter is a lot shorter then the last one because it doesn't have as much to say but what it does say is what I'm sure you've been waiting for since… Well… Yesterday. Anyways, here's chapter 9 so enjoy! – _

**Tell Me How Much You Love Me**

The sunlight pouring in through the window seemed unnatural the next morning. Jack mumbled softly and rolled away from the light, immediately noticing that Ennis hadn't come to bed and remembering suddenly the events that had happened the night before. _"Please say he didn't leave…"_ He prayed silently as he got out of bed and went quickly to the door. The smell of breakfast let him breathe out a breath he didn't know he was holding and he closed the door behind him as he wandered slowly downstairs, wondering what Ennis would say to him after all the harsh words last night.

Ennis, however, didn't say much as the other walked in and sat down, just muttered a quiet good morning and put the food in front of him. Jack looked up at him as he did so, his heart clenching a little when he saw the sadness and tiredness in his mates eyes that showed the other hadn't slept that night. As Ennis went over to his own place, he also noticed that he had no food of his own.

"Ain't ya gonna eat too?" He asked quietly and Ennis shook his head a little, taking a bottle of whiskey out of his pocket.

"Not hungry I guess…" He mumbled and Jack nodded slightly before eating the breakfast Ennis had made and putting the empty dish in the sink.

"You gonna work on tha' fence some more?" He asked but received silence from him.

"Ennis…?"

The other looked up at him, a sad, almost hurtful expression on his face that was so rare it made Jack go over and sit by him.

"I think… I think we need ta talk cowboy…" He suggested but Ennis shook his head again.

"Ain't nothin' ta talk about rodeo… We was jus' gettin' stuff off our chests tha'd been needin' ta come out… Tha's all… Mighta hurt us both a great deal bu'… Mos' likely i'was the truth of how we was feelin' at the time and we each needed ta know…"

Jack nodded and blinked back tears.

"I'm sorry Ennis… Specially for suggestin' tha' you go git a female…"

"Me too rodeo…. Come'ere…"

He held his arms out to Jack, who quickly fell into them and sobbed against his mates chest.

"Shhh… i's a'right… i's a'right…" Ennis muttered into the others hair, fighting back his own tears.

"Are we gonna be okay Ennis…?" Jack asked through his tears and Ennis nodded, kissing the top of his head gently.

"Yeah love… We'll be a'right…"

Jack looked up at the name and wrapped his arms around his mate tightly, pulling him into a kiss that Ennis quickly took over. Minutes ticked by as the two stayed there, sharing a kiss of love as well as apology and forgiveness that words could never hope to express. Almost 20 minutes later the two finally backed off each other and stared into each others eyes before Jack lowered his head and curled into Ennis' arms.

"I'm thinkin' we need ta take a personal day ta spend some time with jus' us for today, wha' you think?" Ennis asked quietly as he caressed the others back.

"Wha' bout the fence?" Jack mumbled into his chest and Ennis squeezed him gently.

"It c'n wait… Yer more important righ' now…"

That stated, he lifted Jack up and carried him to their room. Once there, he laid him down gently and slid in next to him, wrapping his arms around him as the other snuggled against him.

"C'n we go back ta sleep Ennis? I didn't sleep too well las' night an' I know you didn' either…" He asked sleepily and Ennis nodded.

"Yeah I didn' sleep a'all… Le's git some sleep and things c'n be done tomorrow… Sound good ta you?"

This time it was Jack's turn to nod as he cuddled as close as he could to Ennis and the other held him tightly against his chest.

"I love you rodeo… Always remember tha'…." He whispered as they both started to fall asleep.

"I love you too cowboy… Forever…"

_-- I know it's shorter but do you all feel better now? Lol Please review and tell me what you think! -- _


	10. Chapter 10

_-- Disclaimer: No, I don't own anything. Haven't we been through this enough? Sheesh... -- _

_-- After this chapter I might have to start slowing down alittle cause I have no idea where to go but for now, here's chapter 10 so please enjoy! --_

**Tell Me How Much You Love Me**

The next day was spent repairing the fence, brushing down the horses, herding the battle and doing miscellaneous housework. They had decided that morning during breakfast that due to their recent problems, they hadn't been getting practically any work done at all and the ranch hands were tired of doing it all themselves when it wasn't their jobs to do so. Therefore, the entire day between 9 in the morning and 5 in the evening was spent working with the exception of 20 minutes for lunch and random bathroom breaks.

By around 5ish that evening, Jack dropped the rag he was using to polish a bookcase and sighed, plopping down on the couch tiredly. Both he and Ennis had been given hell when they tried (and eventually managed) to round up the cattle on foot because their horses were in the process of getting re-shoed. Now he was exhausted, to put it lightly, and he knew Ennis had to be just as tired. He stood up slowly, cringing when his muscles panged in protest from the hard work that he hadn't done in awhile and headed to the door to call his mate in so they could make dinner.

"Ennis!" He called. "Come on cowboy, i's dinnertime!"

He stood there for a moment, tilting his head when he didn't get a response and called to him again, only to receive more silence. Horrible thoughts flashed through his mind as he pictured Ennis lying dead or dying somewhere and, pain suddenly forgotten, flew out of the house to look for him,

"Ennis? Ennis where are you!"

He screamed out into the vast wilderness but again heard nothing. He ran up to the cliff near their ranch, knowing it was one of Ennis' favorite spots and searched around, his breath catching in his chest with a small whimper when he found him. There he was, not moving, laying on the rocks at the bottom of the cliff.

"God no..."

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"No... no no no no NO!"

His voice rose to a scream as he stared down at his mate then ran down the side to the bottom of the cliff where the other lay.

"Ennis! Ennis please! Please wake up... Please...!"

He begged as he shook his mate, tears streaming down his face.

_"I haven't had a chance to make it up to him for our fight... Please God... Please don't take him away from me..."_

The prayer sent him into another spasm of shaking the other, his breath ragged through his sobs. Suddenly Ennis stirred and Jack gasped, staring at him in disbelief.

_"Was my prayer actually answered...?" _"Ennis...?" He said quietly and the other opened his eyes alittle.

"Mmm? Wha' you screamin' bout rodeo? Wakin' me from my nap an'..." He stopped as Jack's face came into focus and he saw the tears glistening on his face, causing him to sit up quickly.

"Wha's wrong baby? Did ya get hurt? Why you cryin'?" He asked, now worried. Jack however didn't answer him, just flung himself onto him and kissed him deeply as he squeezed him tightly.

"Shh... Calm down love an' tell me wha' happened..."

"I... I though'..." Jack muttered between sobs.

"Though' wha' rodeo?"

"You was layin' there an' ya wasn' movin' an I though' you was... you was..." He sobbed again, unable to finish the sentence but Ennis understood either way.

"Baby i's a'right... I ain't dead okay? I was jus' restin' here an' I guess I fell asleep..."

Jack nodded alittle in recognition as his tears started to fade away and his breath started to calm.

"I dunno wha' I'da done if you'd... if you'd..."

"Shh... Don' talk about i'love, a'right? Nothin' happened an' nothin's gonna happen ta make me leave you, ya hear?"

Again Jack nodded and Ennis hugged him tightly.

"Well, we's best get back ta the house... I'm starvin'..."

Jack laughed alittle and wiped the tears off his face with Ennis' help.

"Ya gots a one track mind Ennis an' it's headed straigh' for food."

"Nah, i's headed for you..." Ennis muttered silkily into his ear and Jack shuddered slightly as chills passed through his spine.

"Le's go then cowboy an' we'll see bout the other later..." He said as he stood and Ennis stood up next to him.

"Yeah... An' maybe I c'n have some dessert afterwards..."

"Well, I'm sure we got somethin' in the freezer..."

"Tha' ain't wha' I meant rodeo..."

Jack faltered for a moment then blushed fushia and turned his head away as Ennis winked at him and laughed softly.

"Hornball..." Jack muttered as he shoved him gently but when Ennis went behind him and scooped him up in his arms, his embarassment immediatly faded and he cuddled against the his chest as the other walked back towards the ranch in the dying light of the evening.

_-- So as always, tell me what you think! Thanks for reading!_


	11. Chapter 11

_-- Disclaimer: NO I don't own it, just the fanfic --_

Tell Me How Much You Love Me

Night had fallen fully by the time they got back to the ranch and a cold chill had set in quickly. Part way home Ennis had felt Jack shivering in his arms and stopped for a moment, putting him down long enough to take off his own coat and wrap it around his love before lifting him back into his arms like a child and carrying him the rest of the way home, despite Jack's concerns that he would get sick. By the time they got inside however, Ennis was so cold that it was all he could do to stop himself from shivering madly as he lay Jack down on the bed and took the two coats from him to go hang them up. Only out of his sight did he finally let the cold take him over and he leaned into the still warm jackets, his teeth chattering and his fingers feeling as if he were holding them under boiling water as he tried to regain some warmth.

After a few minutes he let himself fall away from the jackets, which had lost their warmth anyway and wandered into the kitchen, his fingers still trembling as he pulled some canned soup from the cabinet and put it into a large bowl which they shared from everytime they ate something like this. He stuck it into the microwave, half wishing there was a way to stick himself in with the soup as he sat in a chair, shaking slightly. A sneeze suddenly rocked his body and he grabbed a tissue from nearby to blow his nose, only to be caught up in a fit of sneezes that lasted 4...5...6... 7 sneezes long.

"Damn allergies..." He muttered, though he knew damn well it wasn't his allergies... Not in this weather. No... He was getting sick. The microwave beeped signaling itself done heating the soup and Ennis jumped, staring at the machine for a moment as if wondering what it was before standing up and retrieving the bowl of hot soup and some spoons. Grabbing a hot pad to protect his still sensitive fingers from the burn of the soup, he carried it and the spoons up to the room and placed them on the night table quickly, pulling out another tissue as he sneezed again and shook his head slightly.

"Ya'right Ennis?" Jack asked when the other was done sneezing and sat up on the bed, his head tilted alittle in worry.

"I'm fine rodeo... Jus' somethin' irratatin' my nose..." Ennis replied then blew his nose again and sat down by his mate, bringing the bowl with him and handing him a spoon. "Eat up... It'll do us both some good."

Jack nodded as he took the spoon and niether said anything for awhile as they ate, though Ennis did sneeze a few more times and Jack had to resist asking him again if he was alright. Only when he accidentally brushed against the other's hand and felt the icyness of it did he finally take the bowl from him and put it back on the table, ignoring Ennis' confused look and protests as he took his hands into his own.

"Damn cowboy, why yer hands so cold?" He asked and Ennis shivered from chills from the warmth of the other.

"Jus' cold is all rodeo... Nothin' ta worry bout." He responded but Jack shook his head and placed one palm on the others forehead.

"Yer burnin' up cowboy... Get yourself inta your pajamas an' I'ma go get ya some medicine for tha' fever..." He said and got off the bed, pulling Ennis up gently with him to help him into his pajama pants. "I knew ya shouldn'ta gone withou' tha' coat'a yours..."

"I had ta... keep you warm..." Ennis protested in between his chills and sneezed again, groaning softly. "Damn I feel like shit..."

Jack caressed his stomach gently as he finished helping him into his pants then led him back to the bed and covered him up.

"Stay here while I go get ya some medicine."

"Bu' I don' wan' no medicine... And these blankets are too hot..." Ennis protested again then shivered again and closed his eyes as Jack ran a hand slowly down the side of his face.

"Don' worry cowboy... I'll take care o'you... Jus' like ya did for me so many years ago..." He whispered and Ennis opened his eyes again, reaching a slightly trembling hand up to caress the side of his mates face as well.

"I love you rodeo..." He whispered and Jack reached up to hug his hand against his own face.

"I love you too cowboy... Lemme go get your medicine so you c'n sleep, a'right?"

Ennis nodded and let his hand drop back down to burrow under the covers. Jack stood slowly after making sure he was tucked back in then went off to the bathroom and got some fever medicine. After measuring it out and putting the bottle back in the cabinet, he went back in their room where Ennis lay with his eyes closed, his face flushed and sweaty.

"Here Ennis... take this so your fever'll go down..." He said and Ennis opened his mouth alittle, his eyes remaining shut. Jack slowly poured the medicine into his mouth, stopping the flow when the other gagged slightly then poured the rest in and watched to make sure he swallowed it. He then put the little cup on the table next to the bowl before going around to the other side of the bed and sitting on his side, sliding his legs under the covers so he could be warm as he sat next to his mate.

"Ain't you gonna sleep boy...?" Ennis asked sleepily when he felt Jack next to him and the other shook his head slightly.

"I'm gonna stay up wi'you cowboy 'n' make sure ya don' get no worse durin' the night."

Ennis seemed to accept this, though most likely it was the fever because Jack knew he'd never agree in his normal state and cuddled back against Jack's legs. The latter reached one hand under the covers slowly and, after making sure no draft was getting through as well, began softly caressing Ennis' side with his fingers. The other shivered slightly and sneezed again then fell silent, the medicine taking effect quickly to somewhat break his fever and pull him down into a much needed sleep.

Jack stayed there, leaned against the backboard of the bed, one hand mindlessly caressing his mate for comfort as he stared off into space, hoping the medicine would work and that Ennis would be better tomorrow, though as the sun began to rise several hours later and the other was still shivering with cold sweats from the fever that had returned after a few hours, he began to worry whether his mate really was sicker then he first had seemed to be...

_-- Do I even need to ask? Please review! --_


	12. Chapter 12

_--- Disclaimer: This really gets annoying after awhile, ya know? Specially since I still don't and never will own anything. ---_

_--- Thanks to everyone who's still reading this, it really means a lot to me. Nothing is going to be put up over the weekend but here's chapter 12 for now so, enjoy! ---_

**Tell Me How Much You Love Me**

The phone call came around noon the next day and the secretary sitting at the desk answered the phone quickly.

"Doctors office, how c'n I help you?"

"Mornin' ma'am, this is Jack Twist. I'm callin' bout my… Partner here up at my ranch. He started gettin' sick las' night an' now he won' wake up an' I'm worried bout'im. Is the doc available ta come up ta see'im?"

"Well he's off on a call righ' now but I c'n take down your address an' send'im on his way soon as he gets back."

"Tha'd be great ma'am… The address here is…"

He told the lady his address slowly, giving her time to take it down then gave directions on how to get up the mountain so the poor doctor wouldn't get lost.

"Alrigh' sir, I'll tell'im soon as he gets in."

She said once she was done taking down all the information and Jack nodded on the other end.

"Thank ya very much ma'am. Have'a nice day now."

"You too. An' tell your partner I hope he feels better."

"I will ma'am, thank you."

"You're welcome. Bye now."

"Bye."

Jack hung up the phone after the other side clicked and sighed softly, leaning back against the wall. He'd fallen asleep for about an hour around 5 that morning after staying up all night watching Ennis and when he'd awoken, Ennis was tossing and turning and sweating like he was wearing a fur coat in July. Jack had quickly given him some more medicine but when the other hadn't shown any improvement at all by 11, he decided the doctor needed to be called. Ennis, of course, had protested like he was telling him he was going to see a shrink or something.

_--- Flashback ---_

"_I don' need a… a…" He trailed off to sneeze. "I don' need a damn doctor Jack…"_

"_Yes ya do boy, yer sick as a dog. Now jus' lie back down an' rest while I go an' call'im, a'right?" _

"_I still don' need one… I'll be fine in a day or so…"_

"_Ya been sweatin' an' tossin' all night Ennis an' I'm…"_

_He trailed off and Ennis looked up at him. _

"_Yer wha' rodeo?"_

"_I'm… I'm worried bout ya… I don' like you bein' all defenseless like this…"_

_Ennis sighed softly and reached out for Jack's hand._

"_I don' like it neither love… Specially since i's supposed ta be me takin' care o' you, not the other way 'round."_

_Jack sat by him for a few minutes then felt his forehead and stood back up._

"_I'm goin' ta call the doctor now. Stay here an' rest, a'right?"_

_Ennis nodded and curled down into the blankets, coughing a little. Jack caressed the side of his face gently then went out of the room and straight down to the phone to call._

_--- End Flashback ---_

"Ennis?" Jack called softly as he went back into the room then stopped when he noticed the other wasn't in the bed where he'd left him.

"Ennis? Ennis where the hell are ya?" He called out again as he walked into the room and stopped again when he heard coughing coming from the bedroom and saw a stain on the carpet near the bed. A red stain… Blood…

"Ennis?" He ran into the bathroom and kneeled quickly by his mate who was sitting on the floor and leaning against the wall, shaking and covered in blood.

"Jack…" The other managed to get out before another coughing fit took him and he spit more blood into the toilet before slumping back against the wall with a shudder. "Is tha' doctor comin' rodeo…?"

Jack nodded and caressed Ennis' arm gently.

"Yeah cowboy… He'll be comin'…" He said softly and Ennis nodded as well.

"Sorry bout the blood on the carpet… I didn' make it…"

"Don' worry bout it… Adds color…" Jack responded and Ennis laughed a little, his cough coming back slightly and making him spit more blood.

"Tha' toilet's gonna be colored too…"

"So we'll have a colorful house, no biggie." Jack said and Ennis smiled slightly.

"I think I'm done enough ta make it back ta bed now…"

"You sure?"

"Yeah… I don' wanna sit here on the cold tile covered in my own blood…"

"Lemme get ya some clean clothes then I'll help ya to bed."

Ennis nodded and took a deep breath as Jack went out to the bedroom and returned quickly with a comfy pair of pants and shirt.

"Here cowboy, le's getcha inta these."

He undressed him slowly, with a little of Ennis' help then got him into the more comfy clothes before helping him up and leading him to the bed.

"Jus' lay down an' I'll stay here with ya, a'right?"

"I don' want you gettin' sick too rodeo…" Ennis said as he complied to Jack's suggestion and the other sat next to him with one arm around him.

"Bullshit, ya think I'm leavin' ya here ta suffer on your own?"

"But wha' if you get sick too?"

"Then I guess you'll have'ta take care o' me then, huh?"

Ennis smiled softly and kissed the hand near his face gently.

"Go back ta sleep Ennis, doctor'll be here soon ta take care o' ya, I promise."

"Yeah…"

Jack watched as the other closed his eyes slowly, coughing a couple times before taking a long, shuddering breath and falling back to sleep, leaving Jack alone once again as he prayed and waited for the doctor to arrive.

_--- So are you all as anxious as I am to find out what happens to him? Good… Cause I'm not sure yet lol. I promise as soon as I figure it out though that I'll write it and put it up. Please, as always, review and tell me what you think! Thank you! ---_


	13. Chapter 13

_-- Disclaimer: I... Don't... Own... Anything. Sheesh people, can't you realize that after 12 chapters? lol --_

_-- Alright, here it is, the moment you've all been waiting for, Ennis' diagnosis. All I can say for this chapter is... Heartbreak warning! -- _

**Tell Me How Much You Love Me**

A knock on the door downstairs shook Jack from the daze he'd fallen into and he quickly ran down to open the door for the doctor who was waiting on the front porch.

"Sorry doc... I w's upstairs with Ennis..."

He apologized as he let the doctor in and took his coat from him to hang up in the closet.

"Don' worry bout it Jack, I'm sure your worried as hell bout him."

The doctor responded as he looked around slowly.

"You boys've done a lot'a work with this place... Looks real nice."

"Well thanks doc... Glad to know i's 'preciated. Ennis' right up here waitin' for ya. He's sleepin' though so I gotta wake'im up."

The doctor nodded as the proceeded up the stairs and Jack went over to sit next to his mate on the bed. The doctor knew about them already, he was one of the few who did, and he'd told the two he accepted them from the start. Now as Jack caressed Ennis' face gently in order to wake him up, the doctor couldn't help but smile seeing the two of them together. He'd never seen 'normal' relationships work so well and wondered once again why people had such a problem with a couple who obviously loved each other more then there were words in the universe.

"Ennis... Wake up cowboy.. The doc's here for ya..."

Jack whispered softly and Ennis stirred a little, coughing slightly as he rolled over to look up at his mate.

"Is'e here...?" He asked quietly and Jack nodded slightly.

"Yeah cowboy... He's here." He motioned to the doctor, who came over slowly and looked down at Ennis.

"Well Ennis, I'm thinkin' i's safe ta say ya look like shit, whaddya think?" He asked with a smile smile and Ennis nodded.

"Feels jus' like it too doc... Don' know wha' the hells wrong wi'me."

"Well I c'n tell ya blankly wha's wrong an' tha's tha' your sick. Jus' don' know with wha' yet."

Jack moved over so the doctor would have room and held Ennis' hand gently.

"Any ideas doc? Of wha' he might have?"

The doctor shook his head a little as he brought out his stethescope and thermometer.

"Won' know till I check'im out Jack bu' I promise ta tell ya soon as I think I know."

"Righ'... Sorry..."

Jack turned his gaze back down to Ennis as the doctor stuck the thermometer into his mouth and watched the mercury climb, his eyes widening slowly.

"Hundred'n two... Damn Ennis yer one sick puppy, ain't ya?"

Ennis nodded slightly then started coughing again and Jack immediatly got a tissue to hold over his mouth. The fit passed after a few minutes and Jack threw the bloody tissue out as Ennis flopped back down on the pillow with a low groan.

"He been doin' tha' a lot now?" The doctor asked and Jack nodded slowly, his free hand caressing the side of Ennis' face again.

"Since this mornin'... Barely stops 'cept when he's sleepin'. I went down ta call ya an' came back up ta find'im in the bathroom, himself an' the toilet covered in blood..." He trailed off as a shudder overtook him and the doctor nodded then put the stethescope onto Ennis' chest, listening as the man took the deepest breath he could without sending himself into another coughing fit. After a few minutes of listening to different areas, the doctor put his stethescope away and sighed softly.

"Well doc? Ya know wha' i'is?" Jack asked anxiously and the doctor nodded slowly.

"Why don' we let him rest an' you an' I c'n talk in another room?"

"A...A'right... I'll be back then Ennis. You rest here, a'right?"

Ennis nodded slowly and curled under the blankets as Jack followed the doctor out of the room, stopping to close the door before following him downstairs to the living room.

"So wha' is i' doc?"

He asked after a few seconds of silence and the doctor sighed again.

"I's pneumonia Jack..." He said softly and Jack turned his head away quickly, wishing he'd heard something else.

"You... You're sure...?" He asked and the doctor nodded, confirming Jack's fear. The other sank into a chair behind him and the doctor went to stand by him slowly.

"I c'n give'im some medicine tha'll help a little bu' I don' know if it'll be enough to..."

"Ta save'im...?" Jack finished and the doctor again nodded slowly.

"I'm sorry Jack... He... He might not make i'..."

Jack bowed his head into his hands slowly and the doctor thought for a moment he was going to cry before the other stood up and nodded a little.

"Well... Best give'im his meds then an' pray for some miracle, right...?"

"Yeah... I'll be prayin' for'im a'right." He said then started up the stairs again with the medicine, Jack following close behind.

"Here Ennis... Take some'o this medicine. It'll make ya feel better."

"Is i' gonna put me ta sleep like the other stuff?" Ennis asked as the doctor handed him the lumpy white medicine in a small cup.

"Yeah, i's gonna knock ya out cold. Be good for ya though."

Ennis nodded then took the medicine slowly, his eyes meeting Jack's as he drained the last of it and handed the cup back to the doctor.

"Ya gonna be a'right while I walk the doc to the door Ennis?" Jack asked as the other got comfortable again and the doctor collected all his things.

"Yeah, I'll be a'right rodeo. I'll try ta stay up till ya get back up here bu' I ain't promisin' much..." He said but Jack shook his head.

"No Ennis... You get yer rest. I'll come up an' stay with ya soon as the doc leaves, a'right?"

Ennis nodded barely and Jack knew he'd be fast asleep by the time they got out of the room. He let the doctor out of the room before going out himself and closing the door behind them then walked with him down the stairs and to the front door.

"Thanks for comin' out doc... Really 'preciate it."

"I's no problem Jack, you know tha'. Now you go on up an' stay with your mate. He needs ya now..."

"Yeah, I'll make sure ta stay with him every moment I c'n do so."

"A'right an' I'll be prayin' for'im every night. Ya take care now Jack."

"You too doc. Thanks again."

"Your welcome. Call me if he gets any worse."

"I'll make sure to. Bye doc."

"Bye Jack."

Jack closed the door as the doctor went down to his truck and watched from the window to make sure he got down the driveway alright. Once sure he was gone, he went back upstairs and quietly into their room again to lay back down next to Ennis. He got himself comfortable for about a minute then took a deep breath and, after making sure Ennis was fast asleep, sobbed into his chest, praying the setting sun outside was setting just on the world on not on Ennis' life as well.

_-- I did say heartbreak warning... Thanks again for all who are reading and please, as always, review and tell me what you think! I might be making one or two chapters of this have a song included so also tell me your opinions on if I should or not. Thanks again! --_


	14. Chapter 14

_-- Diclaimer: No, I don't own Brokeback Mountain or the characters. Nor do I own the song, "Don't Want To Miss A Thing", which belongs to Aerosmith. --_

_-- Alright everyone, this chapter has a song in it, obviously. It's another heartbreak though so brace yourselves lol. Thanks so much to all my loyal readers! --_

**Tell Me How Much You Love Me**

_I could stay awake just to hear you breathing  
Watch you smile while you are sleeping  
While you're far away dreaming  
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender  
I could stay lost in this moment forever  
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure_

Jack awoke with the rising sun the next morning, having barely slept the whole night from fear that Ennis would slip away from him if he slept for too long...

_I Don't wanna close my eyes  
I Don't wanna fall asleep  
'Cause I'd miss you baby  
And I don't wanna miss a thing  
'Cause even when I dream of you  
The sweetest dream would never do  
I'd still miss you baby  
And I don't want to miss a thing_

_Lying close to you feeling your heart beating  
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming  
Wondering if it's me you're seeing  
Then I kiss your eyes  
And thank God we're together  
I just wanna stay with you in this moment forever  
Forever and ever_

He sat up, still slightly groggy till he heard Ennis cough next to him, which brought him straight back to reality again.

"Ennis? Y'awake cowboy?"

He asked and Ennis nodded ever so slightly.

"Yeah rodeo, I'm..."

He fell into a coughing fit before he could finish and Jack helped him sit up a little to prevent him from choking. After a minute or so the fit passed and Jack laid his mate back down gently, making sure he was fully covered and warm before scooting closer to him and placing one hand on the other's forehead to keep close check on his fever, which was still soaring above 100 degrees.

_I Don't wanna close my eyes  
I don't wanna fall asleep  
'Cause I'd miss you baby  
And I don't wanna miss a thing  
'Cause even when I dream of you  
The sweetest dream will never do  
I'd still miss you baby  
And I don't want to miss a thing_

"So..." Ennis said quietly as he got himself comfortable again. "Wha'd the doc say bout all this?"

Jack stared down at the blankets in silence, not trusting his voice right away with what he knew he had to tell him.

"Jack...?"

Ennis asked, his voice becoming worried as he began to fear the worst.

"I's... I's pneumonia cowboy... Tha's wha' the doc said you got..."

He finally managed to pull out and Ennis sighed softly, not sure what to say.

"Well..." He said after a few moments. "Gimme tha' medicine again then rodeo... I cain't afford ta be sick now."

Jack smiled slightly despite his sadness and fear at Ennis' bravery, even if it was forced and handed him the small cup of medicine.

"Here ya go an' here's your water to wash it down when yer done."

Ennis nodded and gulped the medicine quickly, his face twisting at the horrible taste as he drank down the water as well, trying hard not to cough and cause himself to choke.

"Man tha's horrible shit..."

"I know cowboy bu' it'll be worth it if it cures ya."

"Damn righ' it will be... I couldn' very well leave ya here alone now could I?"

Jack nodded slowly, his voice failing him again as he remembered what the doctor had said...

_--- Flashback ---_

_"I c'n give'im some medicine tha'll help a little bu' I don' know if it'll be enough to..."_

_"To save'im..."_

_"I'm sorry Jack... He... He might not make it..."_

_--- End Flashback ---_

"Jack? Jack...? Baby wha's wrong...?"

Jack snapped out of his daze quickly and glanced down at his mate, tears building in his eyes.

He suddenly broke down again and fell onto Ennis, his hands clinging to his shirt which was quickly becoming saturated with tears. Ennis stared at him for a moment before wrapping his arms gently around his mate and caressing him gently.

_I don't wanna miss one smile  
I don't wanna miss one kiss  
I just wanna be with you  
Right here with you, and just like this  
I just want to hold you close  
Feel your heart so close to mine  
And just stay here in this moment  
For all the rest of time_

"Shh... I's a'right love... I's a'right. I ain't leavin' ya... I promise..."

"Bu'... Bu' the doc said you migh'..."

"I don' give a shit wha' the doc says bout whether I'm gonna die or not... Tha' ain't up ta him ta decide, ya hear?"

Jack nodded slightly and Ennis hugged him tightly, turning his head to clear his throat of the cough he felt sneaking up from his chest as he continued to caress his back gently, whispering soft words of encouragement to him every so often to calm his tears.

_I Don't wanna close my eyes  
I don't wanna fall asleep  
'Cause I'd miss you baby  
And I don't wanna miss a thing  
'Cause even when I dream of you  
The sweetest dream will never do  
I'd still miss you baby  
And I don't want to miss a thing_

Around noon the ranch hands came upstairs and knocked on the door gently, knowing Ennis was sick but stopped when the started to open the door. There lay the two lovers, the sun fully illuminating their bodies as they lay peacefully in each others arms, fully awake though Jack's eyes were closed, soothed by the calm words Ennis was still whispering to him. They stepped back out slowly and closed the door silently, knowing the other two were too lost in each other to even notice they had ever been there in the first place.

_I Don't want to close my eyes  
I don't want to fall asleep  
I don't want to miss a thing_

_-- So how did you guys like the song in the chapter? Did it work or was it too much? Please review and tell me! Thanks so much! --_


	15. Chapter 15

_--- Disclaimer: Still don't own anything. ---_

Tell Me How Much You Love Me

A couple days had passed since the doctor had diagnosed Ennis with pnuemonia and, according to Jack, he didn't seem to be getting any better.

"Really cowboy... ya need ta stay in bed..."

He pleaded for the hundredth time that morning but Ennis wouldn't hear of it.

"I ain't gonna stay here in bed an' lie around all day jus' cause some doc comes sayin' I'm sick an' diein', ya hear? I gots things ta do an'..."

He trailed off suddenly as a violent coughing fit overtook him and he fell to his knees on the floor, one hand holding his chest which heaved greatly with every cough. Jack ran over as Ennis fell to the floor and knelt by him, one hand on his shoulder to help keep him up somewhat.

"Ennis..."

He started but the other shook his head as the fit slowly passed.

"I'm a'right... I'm a'right..."

The fit took him again for another few weaker coughs before his body finally relaxed into slow, shuddering breaths.

"Ennis, please... Get back in bed..."

Jack pleaded again and this time the other nodded in agreement.

"A'right... Bu' jus' for... today..."

They slowly rose off the floor, Jack holding Ennis up the best he could as the other swayed slightly, lightheaded from the coughing. Gently Jack laid him back on the bed and tried to cover him up but Ennis pushed the blankets away.

"I'm too hot rodeo... Cain't stand havin' those blankets on all day no more... My skin needs some air for god's sake..."

"You're gonna get cold here real quick cowboy..." Jack warned but Ennis shook his head again so Jack sat down by him instead.

"More stubborn than a bull, ya know tha' cowboy?"

Ennis hmphed and stretched slowly, taking a deep breath which led again to a violent fit of coughing, though shorter this time then last.

"Damn fuckin' cough..." He complained as it passed and Jack smiled slightly.

"You'll be a'right Ennis, long's ya stay in bed like a good boy."

"I ain't no dog boy, nor am I some 'good boy'..."

Jack laughed softly and laid down next to his mate, one hand trailing slowly over his chest causing Ennis purr and wrap his arms around him gently, pulling him close.

"Ennis...?" Jack asked after a few minutes and the other grumbled softly to acknowledge he was listening. "You... you ain't gonna die on me are ya...?"

Ennis turned his head a little at the sudden question and stared at him for a moment.

"Why the hell ya thinkin' bout me diein' love? Is't cause o'tha' damn doctor 'gain?"

"Well sorta but... I mean... You are really sick an'... I dunno..."

Jack stumbled out and Ennis tilted his head slightly.

"Tell me the truth Jack... Why ya thinkin' I'm gonna die all a sudden?"

"...Cause the doc said ya might not make it cowboy an'... Dammit Ennis ya can't jus' leave me here! You cain't die on me... Please...!"

His last few words seemed to drown as he broke down into sobs again for the first time since that day awhile ago and Ennis held him tighter against himself.

"Shhh... i's a'right lil darlin'... I told ya I ain't gonna die on ya an' I'm bound ta keep tha' promise... I... I done enough wrong ta you in the past already... I owe it to ya ta stay around this time..."

The last part was whispered under his breath but Jack heard it all the same and cuddled closer to his love.

"I love you Ennis... Please don't leave me..."

"I won' Jack... I swear ta you I won'..."

He lifted Jack's chin gently and kissed him deeply before letting him go again and holding him back against his chest. Jack smiled softly as he breathed in the scent of the other's shirt-A mix of cigarettes, horses and sweat that seemed to flow together to somehow make a scent so unique and so... Just so Ennis...

"So c'n I stay here with ya again Ennis or are ya wantin' ta sleep?"

"I cain't ever sleep 'thought you darlin'... You know tha'..."

Jack smiled again and cuddled closer to him, taking a deep breath that seemed to intoxicate his very soul as Ennis fell into an uneasy sleep, his skin slowly turning colder causing Jack to reach down and pull the blankets back over them. Ennis purred softly as the warmth covered him then whispered softly the three words Jack so loved to hear and the younger kissed him softly before laying back down and staring out the window at the crystal clear sky outside, safe and content in his lovers strong arms.

_--- Do I even need to ask you to review? Please and thank you! ---_


	16. Chapter 16

_--- Disclaimer" Puts up big red neon sign that says 'I don't own it!'. There! Now stop complaining! lol ---_

_--- Okay so now that I finished that six page song fic, is anyone sick of me yet? lol Again, thank you all for reading and I love all the reviews! I live off them, I'm telling you... Anyway, here's chapter 16 of this very strange story. Enjoy! ---_

**Tell Me How Much You Love Me**

The week that had so far been the longest in his life was finally over and Jack felt exhausted. He plopped downstairs on the couch as Ennis napped upstairs and exhaled deeply, one hand running slowly through his hair. Ennis' fever had finally broken the day before and when the doctor had come down that morning, he told Jack that things were definatly looking up for the other. The relief that Jack felt from this though seemed to release all the physical and mental exhaustion that he'd put himself through that long week. He closed his eyes as he sunk down into the couch cushions and let his mind wander slowly. How long had it been since he'd gotten a good night's sleep? Since he'd had a normal sized meal? He couldn't even remember now, other then it was before Ennis had gotten sick.

"God... I'm killin' myself here, ain't I...?"

He whispered to no one in particular and leaned over slowly, letting his body fall so that he was laying down on the soft cushions.

"I could fall asleep righ' here..."

"Scuse me, Mr. Twist?"

"Ugh... Wha' izit?"

He opened his eyes again to find one of their ranch hands standing over him, a guilty look on his face from disturbing him.

"Sorry sir, bu' we think yer mare needs a lookin' at... She ain't been herself this week a'all."

"Wha's wrong with 'er?"

He asked as he sat up, immediatly awake.

"Well she jus' been more tempermental then usual an' bein' real picky bout 'er food an' such... Not sure if somethin's wrong with 'er exactly bu' we though' we should bring it to your attention..."

"I'll go see 'er now then."

He got up off the couch and went out to the backyard, the ranch hand following him quickly. Once at the stables, he went immediatly to his mustang mare and into her stall, patting and rubbing her gently.

"Wha's wrong girl?"

He asked as he looked over her and the mare snorted softly, watching him out of the corner of her eye. Jack continued running his hand along her soft fur till he reached her stomach, upon which time the mare snorted angrily and moved away from his touch.

"Girl? Wha' izit...?"

The mare snorted again and glared at him, not letting him near her.

"Did she get hurt boy? Wha's wrong with 'er?"

He demanded of the nearby ranch hand, who simply shrugged.

"Dunno boss, she jus' started this this week... She ain't gotten hurt or nothin', so far as we c'n tell. She ain't got no marks or nothin' on 'er..."

Jack nodded and turned his attention back to the mare, who was still staring at him coldly. He suddenly thought of something and called the ranch hand in to hold her bridle still then slowly knelt down a little and examined her stomach gently.

"Jus' as I though'..."

He whispered and stood back up.

"You c'n let go of 'er... I know wha' her problem is now."

"Wha' izit?"

The ranch hand asked as he let go and moved quickly out of biting reach of the mare. Jack laughed softly patted the mare gently on the back.

"She's pregnant dummy... Musta been gotten to by Ennis' stally when they was out runnin' around. No wonder why she's so iffy."

"Tha'd explain it alrigh'... We'll take extra care of 'er then."

Jack nodded and walked out of the stall after patting her one more time.

"Yeah, be sure ta do tha'. I gotta get back in an' check on Ennis. Jus' give 'er plenty a good food an' let 'er excersise a little... Nothin' too strenuous though."

"Course boss. Will do."

"Thanks Frank."

"No problems. Give my regards ta Ennis for me."

Jack nodded then set off back towards the house, anxious to tell Ennis his good news.

"Hey cowboy, we're gonna have a foal!"

He said into his ear as quietly as he excitedly could when he got to the house and Ennis grumbled slightly.

"Wha' ya mean rodeo? Foal?"

"Yeah, yer stallion's been a bad boy an' gone made my mare pregnant so we're gonna have a foal come spring time."

"Well, tha's good news then."

He took a deep breath and sat up slowly before exhaling.

"How ya feelin' cowboy?"

Jack asked after the other had made himself comfortable again.

"Feelin' much better actually... Wha'd the doc say before?"

"He said yer lookin' much better an' tha' ya should be outta bed an' back to yourself in a day or so."

"Good... I'm damn sick an' tired a layin' in this bed all day..."

Jack laughed softly and kissed him softly.

"Be good ta have ya back cowboy..."

Ennis stared at him with a soft smile for a moment then reached up slowly and pulled the other down against him, capturing his lips in a slow, deep kiss.

"Ennis..."

Jack whispered out softly accompanied by a moan and Ennis wrapped his arms around him slowly.

"Shhh..."

He whispered then slipped his tongue into Jack's mouth quickly, causing the other to gasp and moan in surprise as he melted slowly into his chest. A rough hand snaked down ever so slowly before wrapping gently around Jack's desire, causing him again to gasp and moan at the sensation.

"God Ennis..."

He moaned out against their kiss as Ennis began to expertly stroke along his desire, making sure to hit all the sweet spots that caused the other to tremble with pleasurable convulsions. His climax came quickly, the week long want speeding up his normal time as he came into Ennis' hand, coating himself as well before collapsing onto his chest again.

"Feel better love?"

Ennis asked and Jack nodded slowly, panting too hard to speak.

"Good..."

He wrapped his arms back around his mate gently and held him against him tightly.

"I... love you Ennis..."

Jack managed to pant out as he began to relax and Ennis kissed the top of his head softly.

"I love ya too rodeo. Get some sleep now... I know ya ain't slept much while you been takin' care o'me."

Jack nodded slightly and cuddled against his mate, who reached down and pulled the covers over him slowly then lay there caressing his back gently till he felt Jack finally fall into a much needed and much deserved sleep.

"G'night love..."

He whispered as he kissed the top of his head again and sighed softly, leaning his head back against the wall and closing his eyes, fully content once again alone in each others arms.

_--- If you review I'll love you forever just like I do for all those who do every chapter! Thank you! ---_


	17. Chapter 17

_--- Disclaimer: No I don't own it, though I think people are going to own my head if I keep taking so long to update... o.o;; ---_

**Tell Me How Much You Love Me**

The next morning dawned bright and early... Too early, Jack thought as he rolled over away from the sunshine coming in through the wide open... Wait a minute. He sat up quickly and stared over at the window, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

"I didn' open the curt'ns last nigh'... Did I?"

He asked himself sleepily and shook his head before getting to his feet slowly to close them again. Just as he got it to where no light was coming in though, Ennis came into the room and Jack stared at him blankly.

"Wha' the hell you doin' outta bed cowboy? An' why the hell so early?"

"Good mornin' to you too rodeo."

Ennis responded with a small smirk and made his way to the window where Jack was then threw open the curtains that had just been closed.

"Aw Ennis, I just closed them..."

"An' the light's good for ya boy. Now come on... I'm sick an' tired a layin' in this bed all day an' we gots work ta do if'n we're 'spectin' a foal here in a few months."

Jack rubbed his eyes some more as he followed Ennis downstairs slowly.

"But Ennis ya jus' got better, if yer even better yet an' I don' jus' mean in the head..."

Ennis glared at him slightly but laughed a little when Jack smiled innocently at him.

"I told ya rodeo... I'm feelin' better now an' I don' feel like sittin' in bed anymore. We gotta build some more onto the stables if your mare's havin' a foal an' we gotta get some special food for 'er too."

He placed a plate of hot eggs and beans in front of his mate before sitting and digging into his own.

"Bu' Ennis..."

"No. No more 'buts' boy less i's yours..." Jack blushed. "...We go's lots ta do round here an' it ain't fair I been leavin' you an' the ranchhands ta do all the work round here. We both own this ranch an' we're both gonna run it, even if I know damn well you could run it on your own."

"A'right, a'right... I guess there's no arguin' with you once you get tha' stubborn mind a yours made up."

"Damn right. Now le's eat an' get ou' there ta see bout them stables."

About an hour later, after much pacing on Ennis' part as he waited for Jack to shower and dress, the two stood inside the stable as Jack ran his hand over his mare slowly.

"She won' have 'er foal for some time now bu' I don' think we should wai' much longer ta get 'er into a warmer and more spacious area."

Ennis was saying and Jack nodded slowly.

"Ya think she'll be a'right with the foal Ennis?"

He asked quietly and the other tilted his head slightly.

"Why wouldn' she be rodeo?"

"I mean yeah she's a good horse an' all bu' she's pretty wild too... Member the first few times I tried ta ride 'er she was worse then some a them fillies a' the rodeo... I jus' cain't see 'er as the motherly type I guess..."

He trailed off and Ennis went over slowly, placing a hand gently on his shoulder.

"I think she'll do fine Jack. You've tamed 'er down a lot since we was up here tha' first time an' i's a rare occasion anyways for a mare ta reject 'er foal less somethin's wrong with it... Which I don' see why there would be..."

He added the last line quickly as reassurance from the look the other gave him and Jack sighed softly.

"I guess yer right Ennis I jus'... She's my baby... I don' want nothin' ta happen to 'er, ya know?"

Ennis smiled softly and wrapped his arms around his mate slowly.

"Yeah rodeo... I know..."

"This how it feels when ya say you're worried bout me?"

"Somethin' like tha', yeah."

Jack smiled and turned his face around to kiss him gently.

"Yer too good ta me Ennis... Ya know tha'?"

"I's ta make up for all the times I wasn't nothin' to ya love..."

Ennis whispered and Jack leaned against him slowly, remaining silent as he let the moment linger.

"Ya don' gotta feel guilty bout tha' no more cowboy... I told ya tha' a long time ago now..."

"I'll feel bad bout it for the rest a my life rodeo... I never shoulda done all tha' to ya..."

"Let it go Ennis... Don' ruin the moment..."

Ennis obliged and fell silent along with his love as he hugged him tightly against him, the feelings of excitement and their deep love for each other coursing slowly through their bodies, mixing them together as one, making it so they would have it no other way.

_--- Well there it is. Ennis is all better ( Or is he:-D ) and the foal is on the way! Thanks for reading, as always, and please review to tell me what you think! ---_


	18. Chapter 18

_--- Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the ranch hand who doesn't even have a name so he doesn't count. ---  
_

_--- Hey guys, I'm back! Did you all miss me? I just wanted to say thank you to onefreetoroam for giving me the idea for this chapter... I had such terrible writers block and you helped to just wipe that away. Thanks so much for giving me that back. So if you like this chapter, thank onefreetoroam as well since it was their idea in the first place! Enjoy! ---_

**Tell Me How Much You Love Me**

A couple months had passed since the news of the coming foal had sprung up and the two lovers had been working their asses off, with great help from their ranch hands, to get a new, smaller stable built and prepared for the pregnant mare and her foal. Jack had taken it upon himself to find and buy the most nutritious food, the softest sawdust for her stall, plenty of warm, soft blankets to keep her comfortable and a heated lamp that could be used on the nights when it got too cold. Ennis stood back smiling to himself as he watched Jack perfecting the stall, making sure everything was just right before going to his mare and bringing her out of her stall slowly.

"Hey there girl... How's my baby...?" He murmered as he rubbed her shiny coat down and the mare snorted softly, nudging him with her nose as he led her to the new stable attachment and inside.

"Ya like i' girl? I made i' all nice an' soft for you an' your baby here..." He patted her stomach gently and she nudged him again before wandering over to the food bucket and munching slowly on the oats and grains in it.

"Think she'll be a'right in here Ennis?" Jack turned towards his mate, who walked over and stood with one arm around the other's waist as they watched her.

"I think she'll be great rodeo... Ya done so much for 'er tha' I don' think you c'n do much more anymore." He said and squeezed him gently.

"I hope so... I don' know wha' I'd do if anything happened to 'er, know wha' I mean?" He looked up at Ennis, who leaned down and kissed him softly.

"Course I do rodeo... S'same's I feel bout you everyday."

Jack smiled as he returned the kiss then pulled away from him slowly.

"Well, come on then. We been spendin' so much time ou'here tha' the inside a the house is fallin' apart before our eyes."

"Yeah I know..." Ennis said with a soft sigh and pulled his hat off, running a hand through his hair before putting it back on. "Guess we oughta go get tha' cleaned up then huh?"

Jack nodded then took the other's hand and, after casting one last glance at his mare, who was still munching away, they walked back up to the house for a good few hours of solid house cleaning.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"We need a housekeeper or somethin'..." Ennis sighed out as the two plopped on the couch a few hours later and slouched down to put their feet up on the footstools in front of them.

"No shit..." Jack agreed as he slouched next to him and pulled his hat over his eyes. "I'm done sick a cleanin' our own messes up..."

Ennis laughed softly and placed his own hat next to him on the couch. Both had just closed their eyes, a silent agreement between the two that a nice nap would be good when one of the ranch hands ran in, clearly out of breath and excited.

"Mr. Twist, Mr. Twist!" He called as he ran in and Jack sat up quickly, taking his hat off his face.

"Wha' izit boy? Wha's wrong?"

"I's your mare sir! She's havin' her foal!" He exclaimed and Jack jumped off the couch quickly.

"She's wha'! Jesus Chris' I... I gotta get down to 'er I... Ennis...!"

Ennis went over and grabbed his shoulders gently but firmly and stared him in the eyes.

"Lookit me rodeo. Ya need ta be calm when ya go down ta see 'er so you calm yourself down righ' now and get down there ta help yer mare out, ya hear me?"

Jack took a deep breath and nodded slowly.

"Sorry cowboy I jus'... We're gonna have a foal!"

Ennis nodded back and let go of him, upon which time Jack grabbed his hat and ran out of the house faster then lightning in a storm. When Ennis made it down there with him, the other was already in the mare's stall, kneeling by her and helping her along the process.

"Come on girl... Yer a'right..." He muttered softly as she struggled to push the baby out and caressed her stomach gently, feeling the foal kick under his hand.

"How's she doin' rodeo?" Ennis asked as he walked to the stall but stayed outside, knowing the mare as well as Jack and the ranch hand in there needed their space.

"I think she's doin' a'right for 'er first time... Shouldn' be long now, the baby's righ' there... There ya go, come on girl one more..."

The mare lifted her head and kicked the wall nearby then in a few seconds the ranch hand announced they had a little girl foal and Jack smiled brightly, caressing his mare gently as she lay her head back down on her blanket and closed her eyes, her chest heaving slightly.

"Ya did i' girl... Ya did i'..." He whispered and Ennis saw tears of happiness building in his mates eyes. After a moment or so the other turned to him, a smile on his face as tears ran down his face.

"We got a foal Ennis... A lil foal ta raise as our own now... With momma's help a course."

Ennis smiled back and nodded, his arms crossed over himself as he turned his gaze to watch the ranch hand caring for the foal then back to the mare behind Jack. His smile faded however when he noticed that the mare not only hadn't gotten up yet to see her new foal but that her breathing seemed to be slowing a little too much.

"Jack check 'er... Is she a'right?" He said and Jack turned around, running his hands along the mares face as her breathing continued to slow and her body remained motionless, her eyes still closed.

"Girl? Wha's wrong with ya?" The mare opened her eyes a little and stared up at him, sadness radiating from her dark eyes as she watched him, almost seeming to plead with him.

"Ennis I think somethin's wrong with 'er..." Jack said quickly, his voice becoming paniky as he moved closer to the mare's face and caressed her gently.

"Come on girl... Come on wha's wrong with ya...?" He continued to ask as Ennis moved in next to him and began checking her over. He sighed softly after a few minutes... A sigh of sadness and anxiousness of not wanting to have to tell Jack what he thought was going to happen within the next few minutes...

"Ennis...?" Jack asked quietly but the other just sat there silently, one hand on the mare's side, which still moved slowly with each breath but was becoming shallower with each passing second.

"She... She ain't gonna make i' Jack..." He said just above a whisper and Jack stifled back a cry.

"No... No she cain't die Ennis! No... Not my baby... Not my girl..." He broke down into sobs quickly and clung to the mare's neck, crying into her soft coat.

"I'm sorry love..." Ennis said softly and went to sit by him, wrapping his arms around him and caressing his back slowly.

"My girl..." He whimpered out and fought back another wave of sobs as the mare closed her eyes and let out a last shuddering breath before falling limp on the blankets below.

"Ennis..." Jack began and the other took him into his arms quickly, holding him as sobs began to again rock his body.

"I'm so sorry love..." He whispered into his mates ear softly and rocked him gently as the ranch hand placed a blanket around the foal and carried her out to get her food and warmth as well as give the other two room to be alone.

"Why'd she... Have to die Ennis...? Why my girl...?" Jack sobbed out and Ennis shushed him softly.

"I don' know sweetheart... I jus' don' know..." He said softly and Jack tried to take a deep breath but failed as another wave of sadness washed over him, flooding out of his eyes again onto Ennis' chest. The other held him tightly, rocking him gently and caressing him softly, wishing he could take away the pain he couldn't even imagine his lover felt at the loss of the animal who had meant so much to him and grown so dear to his heart...

_--- Is it sad enough yet? I'm telling you guys, this is becoming the saddest thing I've ever written... Anyway, please review and tell me as always how it was. Thanks! ---_


	19. Chapter 19

_--- Disclaimer: I don't own anything this chapter. ---_

_--- Another chapter of Jack's depression after losing his mare in childbirth. Will Ennis be able to bring his mate out of this sadness and how can the new born foal help make him happy once again? Enjoy! ---_

**Tell Me How Much You Love Me**

To Jack, it seemed, the next few days passed by in a blur, if they even passed by at all. He woke up in the morning, if he'd even slept at all, went downstairs, ate if he could and went outside to work on something... Anything to get his mind off what had happened that day. He knew Ennis was worried about him but he couldn't even bring himself to say that he was alright, which would have been a lie in the first place anyway. The ranch hand who had been there at the birth had been given the responsibility of taking care of the foal for the time being, seeing as Jack couldn't even look at her yet and Ennis was too worried about his mate to care for the little creature who needed so much human care now that she didn't have a mother.

The fourth morning after the mare had died, Ennis woke up early and made a small breakfast for the two of them then took it upstairs and sat down by his mate slowly, not wanting to disturb him. Jack, however, was still awake after the second sleepless night so far and was staring blankly out the window at the slowly drifting clouds. He blinked when he noticed Ennis trying to be quiet and sighed softly.

"I ain't asleep cowboy so don' worry bout botherin' me none..." He said quietly and Ennis jumped a little.

"Morning rodeo... How you feelin'?"

Jack shrugged slightly and rolled over slowly, his eyes staring blankly at Ennis' shirt.

"I guess I'm a'right..." He said, hoping the lie in his voice wasn't as obvious as it was to himself. Ennis, of course, noticed immediatly and placed the plates on the nightstand next to the bed before laying next to Jack slowly, his head propped up on his hand and elbow.

"Listen rodeo... I know yer upset bout your horse an' I understand i's hard ta go on after losin' her but... I'm worried bout you love... Ya haven' been eatin' right or sleepin' barely a'all an'... I jus' don' wan' you hurtin' yourself so much o'er it... Know wha' I mean?" He said quietly as he caressed Jack's side gently and the other sighed softly again.

"I know cowboy, I jus'... She was my girl Ennis an' now... Jus' like tha'... She's gone... I..." He trailed off for a moment as tears started building in his eyes again. "I jus' cain't believe she's gone... She mean' so much ta me Ennis..."

"Shhh... I's a'right rodeo... I's a'right.. I know..." Ennis whispered softly and held him against him gently. "Bu' listen... Ya got yer mare's foal ou' there bein' taken care a by the ranch hand when she should be gettin' taken care a by you... She's like your child now Jack an' she needs you... Be good for you too ta be less upset bout her momma."

Jack stayed quiet for a moment as he cried into the others shirt and let the words sink in.

"Ya think tha'd help me Ennis?" He asked and Ennis nodded slowly.

"Yeah love... I think it would. Besides... She'd want you takin' care a her baby now, wouldn' she?"

Jack nodded this time and backed away from Ennis' shirt, wiping his eyes slowly.

"A'right... I guess I owe it ta my girl ta a'least take care a her baby since she cain't..." He said and Ennis kissed him softly.

"Tha's my strong cowboy..."

Jack smiled a little and kissed him back.

"Now han' me tha' breakfast Ennis so's I c'n get down there an' take care a tha' foal. I got's a long day ahead a me."

Ennis smiled back and handed him the plate of breakfast.

"Eat up rodeo an' we'll go down together ta raise 'er... Raise 'er as our own lil foal."

"Sounds good ta me cowboy." Jack replied and the two began digging into their food, Ennis relieved that his lover finally seemed to be coming out of the deep depression he'd fallen so deeply into after the death of one so close to his heart.

_--- I was gonna put more in this chapter but I don't want them to be too long so... Yeah. Need I even ask all you to review? Thanks:D ---_


	20. Chapter 20

_--- Disclaimer: Nope, don't own anything cept the ranch hand. ---  
_

**Tell Me How Much You Love Me  
**

"Mornin' mister Ennis, mister Jack. You feelin' better t'day?"

Jack nodded and smiled slightly at the ranch hand as they walked into the stable.

"Yeah, I'm doin' a'right now. How's my lil girl doin'?"

The ranch hand looked down at the small foal at his feet and shrugged a little.

"I reckon she's doin' jus' fine, all things considerin'…" He said and Jack nodded again.

"A'right. Long as she's doin' good."

"I been takin' real good care of'er for ya sir."

"Thanks Frank. I really 'preciate it."

"No problem. Least I could do ta help. Besides, who could turn down tha' face?"

He lifted the foals head up for them to see and Jack went over, staring down at her light brown face and dark brown eyes that were looking curiously back up at him.

"She's beautiful…" He said softly and Ennis went to stand behind him, staring down at the little one as well.

"She's a strong lil thing too…" The ranch hand continued as he stood to let them have their room. "Sure givin' me trouble when she wanted 'er bottle earlier."

"Well ya know nothin' can stand in the way of a foal wantin'er breakfast."

Jack responded and Frank laughed a little.

"So very true. Now if you'll 'scuse me, I gotta go get the other chores done. Have fun with your lil one mister Twist."

With that he tipped his hat to the both of them, which Ennis returned since Jack was busy with the foal and went out, leaving the two of them alone in the silence.

"We should take 'er out an' let'er run around in the pasture." Ennis said after a few minutes and Jack nodded then stood up next to him.

"Yeah, lil sunshine'll do 'er some good. Come on girl, le's getcha outside for some air and rompin' space."

He helped the foal to her feet slowly, steadying her as she wobbled for a moment then led her out the stable door to the large pasture, freshly green with grass and trees alike. The foal stood near them for a minute, staring from them to the pasture and back again in confusion.

"Well, go on girl. Go run for awhile an' eat up some grass."

Jack tried encouraging her and Ennis gave her a little nudge but the foal just stood there and stared up at Jack with shining eyes.

"I think she wants ya to go with'er love..." Ennis said and Jack glanced at him then back at the foal.

"Ya think tha' might be it?"

Ennis nodded and pet the foal gently.

"Well it'd make sense… You're like 'er momma in technical terms so she probably ain't gonna go nowhere without ya."

"She thinks a me like 'er momma…?" Jack asked quietly and Ennis nodded again, patting him on the shoulder as he wiped a tear from his eyes.

"Well if tha's wha' she thinks a me then I'ma have ta take extra good care a her then, won't I?"

"Yeah rodeo, I reckon ya will. Now go on, go run with your baby."

Jack smiled slightly and reached down to play with the foals ears for a moment then started walking out into the pasture.

"Come on girl, le's go for a run." He said once he was sure the foal was following him and took off at a quick jog, glancing back every once in a while to make sure the foal was keeping up. Soon the foal got used to her legs and took off, speeding past Jack like a light brown blur and started bolting around the numerous trees that dotted the pasture, always coming back quickly to Jack if she got too far away.

"Lookit 'er Ennis! Lookit 'er go!" Jack yelled back to his mate and Ennis smiled, giving him a small nod as he leaned back against the side of the stable.

"Good ta have ya back rodeo… You an' our own lil baby…"


	21. Chapter 21

_--- Disclaimer: I only own Frank and Lightning, nothing else. Don't sue please, I only have seven dollars... :'( ---_

**Tell Me How Much You Love Me**

Between taking care of the foal and having to keep the ranch itself working as well as keeping the house clean and taking care of themselves, Jack and Ennis soon found themselves quite exhausted. Over that past couple weeks, the foal had begun to grow to look almost just like her mother with the exception that she was more brownish tan than the light mustang color the mare had been. Jack, whether to help himself cope with the death of his mare or because he just wanted to, had taken it upon himself to solely care for the little filly which he'd affectionatly named Lightning.

He'd come up with the name after watching her bolt around the pasture and then while brushing her had found she had a small lightning shape on her face, if you knew what to look for. Thus she was ordained as the little lightning bolt of the ranch. Ennis had taken it on himself to keep the house in somewhat order, (He was just a man after all), and had hired a couple more ranch hands to help the three they already had. This also helped for when Ennis needed some time to himself, which he'd been needing much more of lately.

He spent hours locked up in his and Jack's room, sitting on the bed, staring at the small black velvet box in his hand. He opened it every once in awhile, letting the sun reflect and glitter off the simple gold band in he box. He'd taken it out only once when he'd first bought it and only to make sure that his and Jack's names were inscribed correctly inside. Now he just needed to ask...

"Ennis? Ya in there cowboy?" A voice called from the other side of the door and Ennis jumped slightly, snapping the box closed.

"Y... Yeah rodeo. I'm in here." He responded and Jack opened the door a little to peek his head in.

"Whatcha doin' locked up in here cowboy? Frank says ya been here fer hours now..."

"Sorry doll... Guess I got caught up thinkin'..."

"Bout wha'?" Jack asked as he went to sit by him. Ennis stared at him for a moment then stood quickly, pulling the other back to his feet.

"Ennis, wha's gotten inta you?"

Ennis remained silent as he stood eye to eye with his mate then slowly kneeled down in front of him, never taking his eyes away from Jack's.

"E...Ennis...?" Jack stuttered quietly, knowing what was coming but not believing it was happening.

"Jack Twist... Will you... Will you marry me?" Ennis asked, holding the opened box up to him. Jack gasped silently and stared at the ring, tears filling his eyes.

"You... You mean it Ennis?"

"Course I mean it rodeo. You mean more to me then life itself..."

"God Ennis I... I don' know wha' to say..."

"Jus' say yes love... Tha' you'll be wi'me for the rest of our lives..." Ennis said quietly and Jack nodded slowly.

"Yes Ennis... I will..." He whispered and Ennis broke into a smile, placing the ring on Jack's finger before standing up and pulling his now fiance into a deep, passionate kiss.

"Ennis..." Jack moaned softly against his mouth and clung to him tightly, returning the kiss with vigor. They broke the kiss after a few minutes to breathe and stood there silently, staring into each other's eyes.

"I love you Ennis..." Jack whispered finally and Ennis smiled softly.

"Love you too rodeo."

"And we'll stay like this now right? We'll be just like this... Forever?"

"Yes love... If it's the last thing I do, I will stay with you forever."

Jack smiled then as tears again filled his eyes and pulled his lover into a tight hug, which Ennis gently returned. It was a hug to forgive and forget the bad times they'd been through, though they'd use the lessons to restart their new life together... One that would be as solid as the ring that now sparkled on Jack's finger in the fading sunlight of the musky twilight outside the bedroom curtains... Forever now and always.


	22. Finale

_Several years after being faced with Jack's near-death experience, the two cowboys still lived peacefully up at their ranch on top of Brokeback Mountain. _

_Jack and Ennis were married a week after the proposal by a friend of Jack's who was one of the few men qualified to legally marry them, wasn't against 'men who were lovers', as Ennis liked to call himself and his mate, and had promised not to tell a soul about how or where they were. _

_Lightning grew to be a fine riding horse under Jack's gentle care and was ridden in many rodeos, though never in the towns he and Ennis came from. Her blue ribbons from competitions were hung neatly by her stall, protected from the weather and are to this day Jack's pride and joy._

_Ennis gained custody of his youngest daughter when Junior and her new husband came to live with them and Alma insisted she take Francine along with. News was heard that Alma and her husband had been having problems over the years after they were married and although Ennis felt inclined to shove it in her face that it wasn't just him, he remained a gentleman to the end and kept his mouth shut. _

_Junior and Francine were given young horses of their own after they moved up, (Junior and her husband shared), and the best time of the day, as Jack recalled to Ennis one summer night, was watching the shadows of the four horses nestling down for the night in the dying light of the sunset. _

_Ennis eventually ended up hiring a housemaid upon Junior's request when he got so caught up with Jack after their marriage that the house began to almost literally fall apart._

_The five of them, plus their horses, lived peacefully on Brokeback for many years to come and as promised, Ennis and Jack remained fully loyal to each other till the day of their deaths. They were found in their bedroom one morning wrapped in each others arms, soft smiles on both their faces as had been when they both took their last breath the previous night. They had lived together and loved together for all of their lives and now live on still wrapped in each other's love forever._

_The End_


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